Well, I tried to solve a situation, a break of friendship between my mates and it didn't work. I had to say something though, all these problems were killing me. I felt anger and sadness at both sides of the arguement and indeed inside of me.
I went to Southampton today, to go shopping, on the way there, I was thinking about the whole situation and honestly, I almost cried. I'm on the verge of crying now. It sounds pathetic but I was so very happy when I had 7 great friends who all got on so well and now, that's pretty much ruined, all because one person can't be fucked to fix it. Bringing up a problem, then ignoring it, isn't going to get things fixed. I hate this. So I raise my hands, I give up. No matter how much sympathy I try to give out, it's thrown back in my face. The amount of times I've gotten upset and I mean properly upset, because I can't make Stew feel any better about life, is ridiculous. Now I sometimes wonder why I even bother caring. I wonder, if he cares at all about me. I'm going to stop before I start crying, my eyes are welling up.
On a more positive note, I got my copy of OPM today and I'm in it! Yay! I'm raving up COD4 on the top 20 games page, I didn't realise you could quite see so far down my dress in that picture, oopsy, but oh well hehe.
Eugh. I can't write today, it's all gotten a bit too much of late. At least I had a good, long phonecall last night, highlight of my week so far :/ I think I'm going to leave things for a bit, give him some space and take a few steps back. I don't know if I can stomach to start up a conversation at the moment anyway...
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