Marwell Zoo

I had a really fun day today at the zoo with my family. It wasn't too busy and it wasn't too hot and it didn't rain! Win. Saw loads of animals, some of them I'd never seen before! I especially loved seeing the snow leopards, tigers and lemurs.

The funniest part of the day was all the attention my backpack got! I wore my ring-tailed lemur backpack that my dad got for me ages ago. There's not many times I can wear it but I thought today would be perfect. I got a lot of remarks off people both child and adult saying things like "I thought that was real then!" and "Look that girl has a lemur on her back!". It was most amusing. Then there was one kid, he was so sweet. He stood behind me, stroking the long tail, he looked up at me with a grin and said "You have a tail!". He was so sweet! Made my day.

My sister is putting photos on facebook as I type though we've already looked at hers and my dad's on the PS3. He got some really good ones!

I can't actually be bothered to blog that much now but I did have a good chat with Jen yesterday who phoned me on her way home from work. She cheered me up about things slightly and now I am super excited about Saturday! I actually can't wait. I'm also determined to get very drunk. Good times ahead.

Happy birthday Bossman

Not really much to write about today. I spoke to Lewis on msn for the first time in ages last night and it was nice. Makes me realise how much I miss my uni mates! I think I will have to go back to uni earlier than I planned to. I'm still not sure when though. Sometime in September...we'll see.

I wish I could get things off my mind. I really do.

I am mostly looking forward to Saturday though so all is good. Hopefully the weather will be dry enough!

Also, if it's nice tomorrow we're going to Marwell zoo! Which should be fun. Looking forward to that! I was speaking to Alice earlier, she said we need to do something before she dies of boredom, I totally agree. So I've said next week we need to do something to celebrate us both passing. She doesn't mind what we do so maybe we could go to the beach in the afternoon and go to a pub in the evening? Just a thought! Will see how that goes. I'll have to plan it after this weekend.

It's also edging closer to my OPM work experience and damn I am nervous! Eek!

Currently listening to: Lady Gaga-Bad romance (vidzone): "I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything as long as it's free, I want your love. Love, love, love, I want your love."

Worthing

I've had a pretty good day. We all went to Worthing for the day because my dad was working there and it was something to do. We helped my dad unload everything before we went off shopping. I have kind of felt ill all day, I'm not sure why. Maybe the weather is affecting me in an odd way. It's been miserable today, I thought it might pour down at one point but it managed to stay dry thankfully. While walking around I felt very hot and a little bit sicky but I was fine. For lunch we had an ice-cream sundae which was so good but gone so quick! Eating something made me feel a little better so maybe it was just hunger...I don't know.

I didn't buy anything, there are too many things I currently want when I have no money. Well, I do have money but I am so paranoid on spending it as I am worrying about paying bills, etc in a few months time when I'm back at uni. I'm sure I will be fine but I do worry unnecessarily.

It's weird because I've had an okay day but I feel a bit down. I don't know why, or what about. I just do. Stupid emotions. I wish I didn't have any at all sometimes.

Relaxing day

Today has been a pretty good day. I started off the morning talking to Alex which was nice but I am very sad he's going away for a week in 2 weeks time! I guess it's only a week but it will seem like forever to me. Next year's going to be worse as I'm probably going on holiday for 2 weeks! But hopefully things will be better by then.

Today I got my new top from New Look which I love! So happy I grabbed a sale bargain and it goes with my purple/pink skirt I haven't been able to wear yet because I had no top to go with it! But now I can! Huzzah!

I've also been getting a couple more trophies on Dragon Age though I'm worry a couple may have glitched out on me...I'll know later on I guess. I really hope it hasn't fucked up for me!

Later on I had a four way game with Iain, Steve and Jake on Borderlands helping the Iain and Steve level up and get trophies. It was much fun as we were talking on MSN at the same time too. Good times. I didn't get long tonight so hopefully we'll get another chance to play with each other again. Oh and I was very grateful to Jake as he gave me a couple of Pearlescent weapons! One of them is a crazy SMG that fires spiraling bullets! I love it! And as I rightfully said: "My gun's so awesome it lags the game".

Tomorrow my dad is working in Worthing so me, my mum and my sister are tagging along to go shopping and maybe to the lovely ice-cream parlour they have there while my dad does his afternoon gig. So hopefully the weather is nice!

Alien invasion?

This morning, well by the time we went out it was actually afternoon, we popped along to the carboot. My sister picked up a couple of Harry Potter things but that was it as we'd arrived to late really. But the main reason we went out was to check out the sci-fi exhibition at Portsmouth's musuem. It was called "Alien Invasion" and had some pretty cool props! A red darlek, predator head, battlestar galatica costumes, a huge Alien, Mars Attacks aliens and a load of star wars stuff including a yoda, ewok, stormtrooper and darth Vader costume. By complete accident, I was wearing my Star Wars top. I walked past a huge fat bloke, with glasses, also wearing a star wars t-shirt. All that ran through my mind was "Please don't talk to me I don't want to be your special friend!". He didn't, of course but I had funny memories of the random bloke in a Jedi cape talking to Holly at MCM. Good times.

We looked around the rest of the museum too. They had a Sherlock Holmes exhibit and a history of Portsmouth and Southsea bit (which has been there forever). They also had some abstract art, most of it was utter balls as you'd expect. Still it made a change. After I got home the rest of the day has been spent grinding on Dragon Age, and no, not the fun kind of grinding, the kind which slowly drains away your soul...

Yesterday I got thinking, after my PSN being mobbed with people asking me if I'm a girl (then trying to add me) I wondered why does it matter if I'm a girl? I know the obvious answer is girl gamers, there's a lack of them and I suppose to most hardcore gamers they must be seen as some sort of Holy grail for men (as Johnboyy so graciously put it!) as sexual partners. Be that as it may I am targeting female gamers themselves here as I despise those sites where being a girl who games is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. See sites such as "You got beat by a girl". I saying I don't like at all because it suggests girls should automatically be worse at gaming than men. Which is not true, obviously. Or other sites such as "Fragdolls" which is just a group of attractive female gamers. Great? So even when we're gaming we're still seen as *just* sex objects. Plus let's admit it, what girl gamer really looks like that? Seriously? I'm not saying we're unattractive but we're not super models either.

I'm not going to go off on a massive feminist rant but is it too much to just been seen as equal? If we can't even achieve this in the gaming world then God knows how we'll ever get equal pay...

Currently listening to: Will Young-If love equals nothing
"Am I looking for the right thing in the wrong place? Tell me why does my heart rule my head? I think it likes to be a fool, it likes to be mis-lead. If love equals nothing but sadness and pain, why do I need it time and time again? When it builds me up high then drops me to the floor, beating me, cheating me, I still come back for more."

Shopping

Today we, my mum, sister and I, went shopping later than expected because my mum took forever to get out of bed. It didn't really matter though as town was pretty quite really considering. It was a successful shopping trip, Sami got a very pretty dress from a market stall. The lady there was very persistent in selling something! I was hoping my mum wasn't being forcefully cornered into anything but it was ok as the lady sold us the dress for a tenner! She was trying to sell me one but I said no, she said "Don't you wear dresses?". I replied "I do. I just have enough...". God damn woman leave me alone!

We walked past Ann Summers and my mum laughed at the "beer wench" costume inside which somehow brought us on the subject of traditional Austrian wear. Yes, we talk about strange things when we go shopping! And I talk about/bring up the minions far too often! Though I think my mum likes it because she's said before that she feels "involved in my life" because I tell her so much about my friends, which is nice!

The only thing I got was a bargain underwear set which is uber pretty and was uber cheap so I was happy enough. My sister and I also got a shakeaway to share which was good! After all that we looked at the time and it was 3pm! So we decided to start walking home. It was a boiling hot day and I could feel a headache coming on again, walking home was pretty horrible and I kind of wish I'd worn shorts rather than jeans! Never mind.

I got home and took some painkillers straight away and laid down on the sofa for half an hour which has seemed to have worked for now. My sister has made cupcakes with vanilla butter icing on and dolly mixtures to decorate! Nom! But since I've just had a huge portion of butterscotch ice cream I think I will wait until later to try one. My sister is definitely the creative one of the family! Though she gave me a good idea today, she said I should make a scrap book and fill it with photos of my friends which I am actually loving the idea of. I could do one for university and put them in time order to remind me of uni. I could do a rocket minion one too and a version for my old friends! Sounds like an awesome idea to me! Though I think my dad will get arsey about me using all his printer ink but we'll see. It would give me something to do and would be a fantastic thing to look back through in the years to come.

Currently listening to: Nightwish-The phantom of the opera
"The phantom of the opera is here...inside my mind."

Excitement

Yesterday I was worried that someone didn't care enough, wasn't worried enough. I spoke to Bossman about my worries and immediately felt better. So much so today has been a good day for me and my worries were probably nothing to be worried about. As per usual for me then.

I'm not sure what to write about today. Especially as at the moment I am lying slanted on the sofa feeling a combination of headache, sickness and hunger. It's not good. I don't think I've drunk enough today and I've probably been playing Dragon Age for about 5 hours non-stop! Oops. Despite this I am mostly happy, even though I am envying the fact a lot of my friends will be going out tonight. Maybe it's because I am excited about next weekend's beach party. I am gutted Alex and Richie can't come but I'm sure it will still be a laugh. I am also wondering what kind of booze to bring with me. I'm sure I'll think of something before next weekend.

My sister is now off of school for the summer so I wonder if we will be spending more time together or not. I also realised my sister reminds me of those arty students at university. If you've been to uni you'll know what I mean, the ones who dress weird and have to look unique at all times. Yep, that's definitely my sister! Not that there's anything wrong with that, as long as she doesn't turn poncy about things I don't mind what she turns out like. And I'm sure that will never happen. After all, she told me once I'd been a good example for her. I'm sure how I've done this but it always makes me feel good about myself to know that really, underneath it all, I'm a good kid.

Currently listening to: Lady gaga-Alejandro
"She's got both hands in her pocket, and she won't look at you, won't look at you."

Walk.

Today I decided to go for a walk to clear my head and think straight about things. I think my dad almost died of shock when I told him I was going for a walk by myself this morning. It's not something I usually do. So off I went, I had a fair idea of where I was going to go. I decided to walk my old route towards college except I walked through St James hospital which is a mental hospital. I used to walk a longer way to college. Mainly to meet my friend Alice on the way but also because my mum didn't like the idea of me walking through St James as she'd heard some sort of story of a woman getting raped there. I'm not whether the said story is true or not but St James is also where I used to donate my blood so it's perfectly safe, at least during the day. So any I walked through there and then suddenly thought while I was walking that I should have brought a camera. I could have taken some really nice photos. I walked past a teeny little church or chapel and I was so busy looking at the prettiness of it all I didn't realise I'd taken a wrong turning. I followed the sign that said way out and just ended up walking all the way around rather than cutting through, no biggy. Then I saw something that made me stop in my track and really wish I'd brought a camera.

A small, skinny fox was just stood there staring straight at me and then turned around and walked under a fence into the greenery. I followed him and peered over the gate. He knew I was there and I was no more than 5 feet away and yet he just sat there staring into the distance. He was tiny for a fox, quite possibly a very young one but he was beautiful and I couldn't believe how close to him I was. Despite the bad reputation they get, foxes are still rather beautiful creatures. I stood there watching him for a while and then continued on past the men who were cutting down some trees. I kept walking until I knew where I was and exited out of the back of St James. I continued down to road and walked across the common. This is the route I used to walk every day to college. It was a beautiful day today and the insects in the long grass were making a hell of a noise. Look to the left side of the common and you see a busy road and council houses. Look to the right however and you could be in Africa. Nothing but messy shrubbery, long grass and blue sky. Pretty.

I was heading towards the sea. Not the sea front. It the uglier side of the sea, lots of smelly seaweed and moored up boats. It is still nice though, especially on a day like this where the tide was mostly in. I was so hot I could wait to sit down so I sat on the edge of the wall in some dusty dirt, put my feet on a rock and just sat there and admired the view. I sat for a while, squinting into the distance through the harsh sunlight at the ships and the blue sea. When I eventually continued walking I stopped again to watch the swans at swan lake and sat on a bench nearby. Unfortunately my hay fever was really playing up so I couldn't stay out for too long I decided. Even though I would have liked to. To decided to continue on, passing the perfect little houses I always like walking past. They're right next to the sea and have amazing front gardens. Each one of them perfect. They look like lovely little houses to live in! They make me jealous every time I pass them.

I walked over a little bridge and passed the skeleton of a ship. As a kid this skeleton used to be a wrecked ship which I used to play on as a kid. Funny to think really as even then it must have been dangerous but me and Kirsty used to love jumping across this rotting ship and climbing all over it. But now there is only the spine of the ship left. Amazing that it's still there at all really. Opposite the said ship is a restaurant I also used to go to with my friend as a kid too. I can't quite remember why I used to go in there but I do remember they had a kids playroom in there which I loved because you could write with chalk all over the walls.

I walked home and as I came out of the back alley my dog Ollie was stood there staring at me. Luckily I had caught dad just taking out the dog for a walk! So I walked with him to the park to tell him about my walk.

The rest of the day was spent playing Dragon Age to get the few more trophies I need to platinum the game. It won't be a hard game to plat it just takes up a hell of a lot of your time. You have to really enjoy the game to do so basically! I am 8 trophies away from getting the plat. Two of them I will definitely earn tomorrow. Another two of them will be very easily earnt. The only one I feel I may have a problem with is doing 250 damage IN ONE HIT. Which, if you've played the games, is very, very hard. I'm not sure how I'll do it but I am working on it! The top amount of damage in one hit I am getting is only 90 at the moment but I've attached some runes to my sword and am finding better swords all the time, so hopefully along with doing that and building up my willpower and strength when I level up, I should earn it eventually. Here's hoping!

Anyway today I have decided what I should do and I think it is a good decision. We shall see.

Happy Birthday Alex

Today I have decided not to write about my day as for one, not much happened and two, it has not been a good one for me. Instead I decide to try and be a bit more positive about the past two years or so.

Before I met any of the minions I was a pretty unhappy kid. I pretty much hated myself, had very little confidence, blah, blah blah. Then I met the minions and my God they have seriously changed my life! Sure I still have bad days but so does everyone. Confidence wise though I've never liked myself more. So thanks you guys!

It's amazing to think in a couple of days I will have known Alex for two years and this December will be two years for most of the minions too. Fantastic. It feels like longer though. The days of me being unhappy with myself and being without gaming friends seem so far away. I just hope (as cheesy as it sounds) our friendship never ends.

Tomorrow I have decided, permitted it does rain too hard, I'm going for a walk. By myself. I really need to just walk and think about things. I am quite looking forward to it actually. I need to get out of the house and just be by myself I think. We shall see. For now though, I need to go to bed and try to sleep as last night I slept terribly. Well, once I was asleep it was fine, I just couldn't get to sleep. I don't think I need to explain why. Anyways, good night!

Marines conquor all.

Today was another boring day. Or so I thought. I started off playing Dragon Age whilst chatting to Alex on msn who was playing Alien Vs Predator with Matt. He then invited me to come play with them so I thought why not and joined them. Luckily in most games we were Marines, the only species I have played as so far. And boy did we kick butt. Game after game after game, no one could defeat us! Okay, we did eventually get beaten but it took a long time for anyone to really challenge us. I went from being ranked 1 today (I've never played the online before) to rank 9! Win. It was so much fun, we had an msn conversation going on at the same time to make it easier to communicate without headsets. We did come across one game where some kids had some headsets which was really annoying because they kept saying "my name is so and so". Eugh. I was sat there ignoring it when I heard Alex shout "SERIOUSLY GUYS! OUR NAME IS SHUT THE FUCK UP!". I laughed so much! Of course it just provoked everyone to start saying shut the fuck up to each other but luckily the game started soon after that outburst so we couldn't hear them anyway.

But yes, overall those games we had together made my day! It was mucho fun and looks like we'll be getting together for more games in the future! Good times.

Also, before I even started gaming today, I got two PSN messages. One was someone trying to add me, they'd seen me post on one of the Playstation blogs which was discussing female gamers and developers. He said "good for you sticking up for yourself. I'm Tom by the way." I think that is so nice! Okay, so there's a danger he might just been looking for a girl gamer to hit on but we shall see. For now he has charmed me and I've added him. The second message was by someone who's not on my list and who I don't know at all. I'm not sure where he got me from, maybe he too saw me posting on the blog? He sent a message simply saying "Are you a girl". I replied: "Yes, why?". Later on I got a reply ignoring my question and saying "How old are they". Which leaves me to guess that he's both foreign, or just has poor grammar and is possibly hitting on me. I've ignored him for now. If I get anymore prying messages I guess I'll have to block him. Girl gamers. We get all the weirdos...

An apology

This is a blog to say sorry for being such a bitch. Recently a lot of stupid little things have been stressing me out, to the point I have to take it out on something or someone else. I never, ever mean to upset the people I love but sometimes we all do. I believe we only hurt those people because they're so close to us that you think it's okay because they can take it because they love you. I mean, that's why every kid has arguments with their parents when they're upset right? I remember when I went through a horrible phase when I was a teenager of shouting at my parents so much. I felt so much anger and hate because I was stressed out at school. It wasn't really ever their fault but I was so depressed I felt I had to take it out on someone and unfortunately, parents are the closest things to you and so they get all the blame. I hate being like this and I am sorry. But my friends keep me going and ignore the fact I stress out and love me anyway which makes me so happy.

One less stress to take off the pile is having to re-take my failed module! I got a letter from Kingston Uni yesterday saying the department had decided I didn't need to re-take anything and that I was moving on to the next year! Epic win! I'd been beating myself up over this stupid mistake of a module for ages. I was so annoyed as I'd worked so hard this year and I messed up a load of hard work. But that doesn't matter now because they've decided to pass me! I could not be happier about this.

Currently listening to: Guns n' roses-Paradise City
"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are are pretty. Take. Me. Home."

New shoes and exam results

First of all my new shoes came today which I love to pieces! Bargain hunter girl strikes again. They were only just over a tenner when they're worth £40+! Ebay is my best friend. So anyway I hopped onto the laptop to put up a picture and see what was going on on Twitter/Facebook. When I checked Facebook Matt had posted a status about getting his uni results and that he'd passed. Finally they'd submitted them to the website! So I logged in straight away to check my results. Basically, I'd gotten all B's with one C. I've failed one module from the first term which I knew about anyway because I'd forgotten to submit half my work with that one. A stupid mistake which I'm now paying for. I'd emailed my tutor (also called Laura) who passed it onto the head of department. She said I'd have to wait for my letter results and they'd give me details of what's going to happen with that letter apparently. So now I guess I just have to wait for a letter. Overall I'm really happy with my results! I even got one A- for part of my multi-media news writing course. I'm happy I am doing well in Journalism!

After that was all sorted I went to town to go shopping with my mum. I didn't buy anything I just wanted to get out of the house really and try out my new shoes (which are really comfy). While I was walking around Alex was texting me. He's complaining that I'm getting Bossman a birthday present and not him. Now way, way before his birthday, when I asked him what he wanted, he said I didn't have to get him a present and that he just wanted to see me. So I thought fine, okay, I don't have to worry about it then. But now he's complaining out of jealousy. I realise he is probably only joking but in all honesty, he never got me an xmas present anyway, he still owes me money and not to mention him getting my hopes up about going to Thorpe Park together. Which I now know will never happen. I didn't think it would anyway but I wish he wouldn't say things like that and get my hopes up for no reason. Never mind eh. Personally, I don't think he should get anymore presents until the situation changes, that seems fair doesn't it?! :)

I'm sure he can take his anger out on me in MGO tonight which should be good if we can get a few people online! Good times ahead but man this day is going slow.

Currently listening to: Maroon 5-Misery
"I am in misery, there ain't no body who can comfort me. Why won't you answer me? The silence is slowly killing me. Girl, you really got me bad, you really got me bad. And I'm gunna get you back, I'm gunna get you back."

Teh lurve

Apart from seeing Predators yesterday, my day was not that great. I'm not sure why to be honest but what matters is that has changed now. Last night I was talking to Bossman (as per usual) when JB popped online so I added him and Jen to the conversation. Jen was busy sewing so she left the conversation. Martyn also came online at one point but didn't really speak much as he was busy so this just left me, JB and Boss...until 3am. We stayed up all night talking and sharing particular things and having a laugh. Even at 3am I didn't really want to stop talking but I felt I should go to bed as my parents would probably kill me. Plus even though I slept in late I'm still feeling the effects! Because of that talk I'm feeling a lot better today. I'm not sure why, it's not like I got anything off my chest or anything, I guess I just feel closer to my friends.

Today I am very tired but looking forward to an inevitable phone conversation with Alex as he's sleeping in tonight and I usually end up keeping him company until he goes to sleep. Going to be another late one then...

Was going to go shopping today but that didn't happen so it's happening tomorrow instead. I probably don't need to spend anymore money though as I just brought some shoes with cat faces on from ebay and Bossman's birthday present. Well, his present is a work in progress! :)

Predators

Hurray! Today I have something to do with my life! Today my dad and I went to the cinema together on this fine orange wednesday to see Predators. As Alex had already seen this film and already told me it was good, I was pretty certain I was going to like it. My dad on the other hand had heard nothing about it, not read a review, not even seen a trailer, so everything was new for him. I did know a vague outline of the plot before seeing the film as a friend on Twitter had told me. So I knew exactly what was going on when my dad turned to me in the cinema to say "What the hell is going on?". I didn't tell him of course and although I will post no spoilers here (though there's not exactly a major plot to spoil) I'll sum out what the film is about.

Some of Earth's deadliest killers are dropped into an unknown jungle to be hunted by predators. That's basically it for the plot although they're are a couple of twists in it, which I will not spoil. Predators is almost a homage to the first film. It's mentioned a couple of times and there are a few references to it too. Again, it's set in the similar jungle scene and this time they're 8 characters ranging from a female sniper to a psychotic prisoner. Some characters are left pretty undeveloped but I guess that's always going to happen when you have such a large group of various soldiers and killers.

But for such a simple plot it is a good concept, the idea of human predators becoming the prey of the Predator species.

I feel any fan of the Alien/Predator series will enjoy this film. Trust me, it's not another Aliens VS Predator 2 balls up. This is one for the true fans so I strongly suggest re-watching at least the first Predator film before seeing this one!
Overall, I liked it, there were a few creepy scenes which was cool, a tiny bit of comedy and a twist at the end. Toss in a few gruesome deaths and you've got a pretty cool film right there.

*Deletes*

Last night I found it really hard to sleep. I was hot but if I took my covers off I was too cold so I couldn't really win. Also my stomach was playing up and I felt kind of sick. I resorted to texting Alex, who was still up watching IT Crowd, until I fell asleep.

I got up really late this morning as a nice lie in. I had my shower and came downstairs to find dad getting on the PS3 to look at some pictures of his camera. I told him he had a new message (he's not very good at those sorts of things). It was from a boy he used to know from somewhere he went to work. He used to work as a barman at one of the functions he worked at, he's since been fired or left so I guess this is why he felt he could leave this message:
"You deleted me then you fucking cunt".
Now really, my dad is 50 years old this year. Yes, he's a gamer but he never plays online as it doesn't interest him and he's (no offence dad) not very good against other players. So the whole having friends on the PSN means nothing to him. I'm his only friend. He's sent me a message on there once but he never read my message back to him (because he doesn't realise when he gets messages). So to see that message written to my dad really shocked me! My dad went to reply but the router hadn't been plugged in so he wasn't signed in. Probably a good thing as replying to that little piece of shit is worth no ones time. This same kid added me ages ago when he added me dad too. He got talking to my dad about COD MW2 and my dad told him I play it sometimes. He wanted a match with me so he added me. But I never got a message from him or anything and eventually he deleted me. Now I didn't send him a nasty message because, honestly? I don't care if you unfollow me on twitter, delete me on Facebook or the PSN or even block me on MSN. Unless you were a *really* close friend of course.

So I would never send a nasty message to anyone because I'm not that up my own arse about myself. I cannot count the number of times I've got messages of people I've refused to add or I've deleted off PSN/Facebook. One guy who complimented me on my Lara Croft costume on Facebook then tried to add me. I didn't add him because I didn't know him, fair enough right? Because I didn't add him he then sent me another message calling me a stuck up bitch because apparently I thought I was too good for him or something? I told him this was not the case, I just don't add people I don't know. I had to end up blocking him. Some people I will never understand. It saddens me that people think they can just insult whoever the hell they link via the internet. They'd never do it in real life. Cowards.

Asides from my little rant, nothing much has happened today. The day's gone uber fast (probably because I got up late) and I've spent it doing nothing except playing Scrabble with my sister when she got home from school. Much fun! On the plus side, the internet hasn't broken once today - fingers crossed!

Awesome weekend

This weekend my mum and dad decided to go away as my dad was working near Devon and my mum wanted to go with him. My sister and I spent our time watching Be Kind Rewind (which is hilarious!) and spongebob squarepants mostly. I cooked carbonara for dinner which ended up being a little bit too much like scramled eggs but it was still good. Sami had made cookies with pieces of mars bar in which made a good pudding.

The evening was spent sat on msn with Bossman chatting about our days as we watched American Dad and a program about really overweight people (yeah, there wasn't much else on) until 1.30am! Despite going to bed this late my sister still got up earlier than me!

We walked the dog again in the morning then sat watching more Spongebob and then some scrubs before I picked up my plastic guitar to play some more Band Hero. Earnt a few more trophies! The parents are now home and things are back to boring normal. Oh well it was fun while it lasted.

Now I'm sat eating homemade cookies and ice cream and wondering whether Paul the Octopus will be proven wrong...Either way, I couldn't care about who wins the world cup now!

Currently watching: The F1 highlights

Bummer

This morning I took the pleasure of sleeping in late. My dad came into the room to announce my new Dell battery was here! Which is exellent of them considering I only got an email last night confirming they would be sending me a new one, mental! Dell have earnt back their respect from me.

Today has been okay. A bit stressful with trying to plan things for Saturday but hopefully things should work out okay.

I'm more bummed out with my current internet arrangement. For some reason all this week the internet's been slow and it cuts off randomly, more so at peak time as it was fine late at night but it was a bitch around 7pm. Just when I wanted to play MGO. Bad times. Not sure what's causing it, I'm hoping it's repairs affecting it or something and that it will fix itself soon! Otherwise I'll be emailing AOL.

There's supposed to be some more MGO going on tonight but I'm not sure whether my internet will be up to handling it! I'll give it a go but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Other than that, not much to blog about. Bit fed up of this heat though, going to be mentally hot this weekend, no more, please!

Currently listening to: Hanna Pakarinen-Falling Again
"Another time, another place, I am lost and now I'm falling, I'm falling, again."

Smile

Today has been a good day. Last night I stayed up chatting with Jen and JB which was so funny. JB especially really made me laugh which cheered me up as I hadn't had that great a day. I don't know whether that's reflected on today or not but I do feel good today. I had a pretty weird and horrible dream actually. A combination of Alex, Moo and my new uni house but that didn't effect my mood, luckily. At 10am my dad came into my room with a cup of tea which was unusual but nice. I eventually got up, had a shower then the post came. My Totoro backpack (see pic) came today all the way from Hong Kong! Which is pretty amazing since it's only taken 2 or 3 days to get here! Funny that things from Hong Kong come so much quicker than things from America! Anyway I am very happy with him as he's adorable, I shall use him all the time! I am such a child aren't I? Ahh well, nevermind eh! My mates seem to like him so it's not all bad.

My nan and grandad came round today. My nan wanted to see the rabbit which she loved and it's always nice to see them both while I can. I haven't actually done much today (as usual) but it's just been good. I'm all "loved up" as Marnie would put it and excited about what's to come. It's so good to feel positive for once, I hope this lasts!

Currently listening to: Lady gaga-Alejandro
"You know that I love you boy, hot like Mexico, rejoice. At this point I've gotta choose, nothing to lose."

Going out fail.

Well as you all probably know now, Marnie fucks up every time we want to go out. To be fair to her, she does always plan everything but there's no point in planning something when you fuck it up. Almost every time. As Alice said, doing anything with Marnie is hard for no reason. The night started off with a text at 6pm from marnie saying she didn't know when Yaz was going to get here and that she needed to eat so she would give me a text of when to come round. This was after a phone call I had much earlier saying to come round at 7. How could things mess up an hour before? So I waited, for way over an hour and I thought this is getting silly so I sent a text saying: Are we going to the pub or not? I got a reply saying: Yeah Yaz is here now. Yeah we'll go to a couple of pubs and see how we feel init. And yes, she did say "Init". So after trying desperatly to get Alice to come with me (she wouldn't because of money issues and she couldn't be bothered) I left to go and meet Marnie at her house which is luckily just a couple of roads down from me.

So I turned up in jeans and a T-shirt, because we're going to a pub right? I talked to Marnie's mum for a bit because she's always nice and friendly and asks about how my family is been and how Uni is going. Then I went upstairs to Marnie's room and guess what! They were both glammed up to the max. Like they were going clubbing. Marn saw how I was dressed and said "Oh are you just coming to the pub with us then? Coz I don't want you to go home by yourself". And I said "Well to be honest I thought that was all we were doing". An awkward conversation proceeded. Well I didn't feel awkward, I was annoyed but I could tell from Marnie's face she looked a bit embrassed and confused. She said that she told me we were going to Guildhall on saturday night. Saturday night we were all drunk, so how I would I remember that even if she had menstioned the Guildhall (which I'm 99% sure she didn't). Wouldn't it have been a good idea to remind me?! So I said I'd just go home after they'd left. Waste of my fucking time.

I spoke to Yaz a bit though about things. When Marn had left the room to go brush her teeth (why do people do that when they're still drinking?!) I told Yaz that she didn't tell me at all that we were going to the Guildhall. Yaz smiled and said "She probably didn't", I guess she knows what Marnie is like too. I text Alice about what had happened and Alice was just as mad as me. She obviously wasn't told that either. Yaz just laughed at the complete planning fail. I just couldn't wait to get home and have a cider by this point. When Marnie came back upstairs I said goodbye to them both, saying to Yaz we had to go out properly sometime, and left.

I spent my evening watching TV, drinking cider and eating a little bit of chocolate. I think I prefered to say in to be honest...

Currently listening to- Matchbox twenty- Unwell
"All day, staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on my wall. All night, hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep because tomorrow might be good for something. Hold on. Think I'm heading for a, breakdown and I don't know why."

Another girly night

Today after a nice lie in the parents and I went to Chicester for two things. One, my mum needed to pick up her ring, she'd had it repaired, it's look beautiful now. Two, my dad had ordered a dinosaur figure and it had come back in stock. Ahh the rock and roll lifestyle...
I also convinced my parents to buy an adorable Highland Cow door stop for the front room as we did need one and this one was so cute! My powers of persuasion win!
We had only an hour to look around and I tried on a dress that was in the sale but didn't like it unfortunately so I didn't buy anything.
We popped in on a pet shop on the way home to get things for the rabbit. My mum and I spent our time at looking all the cute furry things. They also have reptiles in there too now but they'd all been taken out of their tanks. I need to come back when they get some bearded dragons in as they do sell them!

Marnie rang again today to check I still wanted to come out tonight to the pub. I hope we're not going anywhere too far away as I don't want to have to pay out for another taxi really. The main reason I have agreed to go out is because Yaz is coming out! I rarely get to meet up with her so I take every chance I can get. Marnie wants to drink before we go out but I don't see the point, what's the point in pre-drinking before you go to a pub?! I know pubs are expensive these days but if we're drinking indoors why bother going out? I might bring round a cider with me but I haven't decided yet. I also hope we're just wearing casual clothes because I'm guessing that we are but you can never tell with my friends. Oh well it doesn't matter if I'm casual and they're dressed up because they'll just look over-dressed...or I'll look like the odd one out, either way doesn't matter, they usually all end up looking a lot better than me anyway! I felt so...un-female (I'm aware that isn't a word) the other night when Alice, Jo and Marn were all talking about make-up and fake eyelashes. It's not like I don't wear make-up but I couldn't give a crap about stuff like foundation, concealer, which mascara is the best, blah, blah. Especially as I could never put anything on my face as it would cover up my freckles and I'd look odd! Probably a good thing that I'm not caking my face in anything...right?

Ahh well I'll never understand but then they'll never understand me so that's fine! I still love them to pieces. Tonight should be fun!

Currently listening to: Dido-life for rent
"It's just a thought, only a thought. If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy. Well I deserve nothing more than I get, 'cause nothing I have is truly mine."

Jo's 19th

Before going out for this me and Alice had agreed to just go to the pub and not go clubbing because she was skint for money and I had a feeling things would go tits up as last year her birthday was a disaster. People wasted their money and got pissed off...it was bad times. I saw last night as going the same way because, much as I love Jo, she's on of those people who gets stressed over nothing then forces people to do what she wants. Even if it is your birthday that's kind of out of order. Anyway I had dinner early and got round to Alice's for quarter to 6-ish. Marnie said she'd meet us at 6 which I told Alice wouldn't happen and surprise, surprise! I was correct as usual. To be fair it wasn't actually Marnie's fault this time, Jo was having a "hair crisis" and then she had a fake eyelash crisis. I HATE fake eyelashes. Marnie was wearing some too, I just don't see the point! Yeah your eyes look nice but everyone knows they're fake and it's just more trouble than it's worth. Anyway, we didn't end up meeting Jo (who lives down Alice's road) until 8! She'd asked people on facebook to meet at 7 so she was kind of letting her guests down, if anyone else actually turned up.

The plus point about leaving with Jo though was that we got a lift to the Guildhall from her mum, free taxi is always made of win. We got to the pub, all had a drink or two each. Amy arrived and she brought her work collegue with her (who's 50!!!!) because this mate of hers had just been dumped by her boyfriend. No offence to the lady, as she was nice enough, she was one of those people who you just think are like "the scum of Portsmouth". She had teeth missing, she has three kids (one in each decade) and her ex-boyfriend sounded like an alcoholic. She was nice and friendly and funny but it was a bit odd being out with a 50 year old when we're all 19...

We were all pretty merry by a certain point (especially as Alice and I had a couple of pre-drinks) so everyone was very giggly and silly. Alice suggusted we stay out. I didn't have a key to mine (as stupidly I didn't think I'd need one) so she said I could crash round hers. I agreed as I was having a good time and we didn't go out until 2 hours later than what we thought so neither of us wanted to go home just yet. We were talking about me sleeping over at Alice's as we walked out of the pub. Unfortunatly one of the bouncers there caught the wrong line of the conversation. I said "It's okay I'll just be dirty tonight" (as I had nothing to sleep round Alice's with) and he of course had to respond to that which was really funny. He said something along the lines of "you can come and be dirty with me if you like!" which all made us laugh. Oopsy!

Before we moved onto Lloyd's bar Alice wanted to get some money out and I rang my mum (before I was too drunk) to tell her I'd be sleeping at Alice's because we wanted to stay out and I didn't want to come home late and wake her and dad up. She said that was fine but asked what I was going to do with my contacts. As of course I had contact lenses in and I can't leave them in while I sleep. She said to find a plastic container to put them in and I was sure that would be easy enough. So I said goodbye and we all continued to Lloyd's Bar.

The bouncers at the bar before we went in made the "who's mum is this?" joke about the older lady who was with us which was a little embarassing. Jo snapped "We're all just friends" which worried me a little as Jo has had problems with bouncers before and it's because she gets arsey at them...luckily the guy didn't seem to notice and we got in fine. Alice and I had Jaegerbombs as it was two for a fiver so she brought the first two and I brought the second two later on. We downed them (which she was better at than me!) and then joined the others of the dance floor. It was mostly chart stuff but remixed. It wasn't too bad. A remixed version of Lady Gaga's Telephone and Alejandro came on so I was happy! We danced ourselves into a sweat. Even Amy's older friend was dancing with us. But we go too hot as one point and walked outside to cool down for a bit.

Alice and Marnie were talking (Alice was banging on about Sean yet again), I was sat next to Marnie not being involved in anyones conversation. Jo was standing up next to the drain I was sitting over, talking to a guy I didn't know. I was sat their, pretty bored but glad to be cooling down and giving myself a rest, when Jo dropped her phone. It went straight down the drain...fail. It was hilarious at the time because 1) It was a pretty retarded thing to do 2) it went straight down the gap 3) everyone was attempting to lift the drain cover off saying "Oh sometimes they just lift off". Everyone eventually accepted the fact nothing could be done about the said phone and so we left it and went back in.

Jo's older sister and her mate had also now joined us in the bar but Amy and her friend had rudely disappeared! From what I said to Jo, she reckons they went off to a pub together. I thought that was really rude of Amy to just go off like that without saying anything to anyone! Ignoring that fact we got more drinks. Me and Alice sat down for a bit as our feet killed, espeically hers, my shoes were behaving well actually. After we sat for a bit we joined the others on the dancefloor. According to Jo's sister's mate, Jo was only just starting to freak out about losing her phone. Great. Something for her to get stressed about we thought! I cannot recall the number of times Jo's lost or broken a phone. I'm serious. I have never ever lost or broken anything really. I've hardly gone through any mobiles. I honestly don't understand how people do it! It's so stupid and it annoys the hell out of me. Anyway we thought we'd just be careful with Jo and went to dance. The music had now just turned to plain chart stuff (no remixes) and then it eventually went from that to proper club and dance music. It wasn't bad for somewhere that's free entry! Me, Alice and Marnie danced out socks off. We even saw Karl there and I had the urge to go and hug him but the sober part of my brain thought he might think I was a bit weird so I didn't. He danced with us a bit though.

We'd all got to the stage where our dancing was mental, especially me and Marnie dancing together! We were having so much fun even if we were getting tired. I practically got lap danced by Alice at one point because I sat down to take a rest while the two fo them were still going. Marnie then disappeared for a bit and came back saying Jo wanted to leave now. This pissed off Alice. I didn't really mind as I was pretty tired myself but it was a bit annoying how people were getting ordered around. We went outside where Jo was. Nina, whom I haven't seen since school, was there which was nice and they were all round the drain again where her phone had gone down. Alice and I almost pissed ourselves laughing when a girl was saying to Jo "Even if it's broken it will still ring". Erm no dumbass, even a phone is broken or it's not, simple! If it rings (which it did) then it works! Nina was trying to ring up 3 at midnight to cancel Jo's contract which was also stupid. You can't help but laugh at these things. Then Alice was talking about Uni and Sean yet again and I told her something about myself which shocked her. Don't you just love doing that? Then Alice heard Katy Perry's new song was playing and wanted to go back in just for that one song. So I went in with her and we danced to that then came back out.

When we came out Jo and Nina (who'd been the people sat by the drain) had had water chucked at them from a window above which wasn't nice. This of course was the last straw for Jo who now wanted to go home because (as she said to Marnie) she was "fed up and bored" which of course Marnie and Alice took in offence. Jo went home in a taxi with Nina but us three stayed out as we were hungry and wanted to get something to eat before we headed back. Marnie and Alice were moaning a lot about what had happened. I actually wasn't that bothered for once. It hadn't really affected my night, it had still been so much fun even though there was a teeny bit of stress. Alice and I got some chips to share and Marnie got a subway before we got a taxi home.

Marnie went back to her own house and I crashed at Alice's. It was 2am and we talked until 5am about various things. It was nice as I felt I could be more open with Alice than I had been before although she did talk about herself a little too much. We tried to go to sleep at 5am which was horrible as it was REALLY light by then. Alice went to sleep pretty easily but I was sniffing because of my hayfever and it didn't help Alice had a cat (which I am slightly allergic to) so my nose was running the entire time. It was horrible. When I woke up at 8 I was surprised that I'd fallen asleep at all! Alice had woken up at the same time as me and I decided to head off because I though tmy parents would be going to carboot and I didn't want to miss them. So I walked home, my heels in one hand, a plastic box with my contact lenses in in another, still in my dress, my hair a mess ( though Alice was insistant that I looked fine) and because I didn't have my glasses, I couldn't see two feet infront of me. Probably best that I couldn't see the odd looks that people were probably giving me!

I'm so knackered. I will definitly sleep well tonight! I think I've gone for long enough now.

Today I woke up later than usual as I'd spent until 2am on the phone last night to Alex. I'm glad though as it made me feel a little better about things. Though it meant today I had no idea what to do with myself. It's been a lazy day, feels like a Saturday without the annoyance that Saturday will probably bring. I really need to speak with Alice about it because I have the feeling it will be an utter fail just Jo's birthday was last year. So I'm proposing going to the pub for her birthday but not moving on anyway else. We shall see what Alice says though I'm sure she will agree as we are both low on money. We'll see.

I've spent the day playing Bayonetta again as I've been listening to the music and it got me in the mood to play it again. I'm glad I have, it's a damn good game. I heart it. My sister has just made rocky road, can't wait for it to set. It's the best thing ever! So, so yummy. She made me some for uni and it was amazing. I haven't eaten or drunk much today but at least dinner is now cooking and I'll go get a drink after this. Really not much to type today as nothing has happened. I'm just really not looking forward to tomorrow. I hate things being unorganised.