Grown-up

I haven't blogged in a while but was inspired to this evening. Us three girls, Ellie, Rachel and myself had a good old chat this evening, about, well everything! We discussed whether we wanted to be in this house next year as it is falling apart a bit and it's making some people feel down and stressed out, which I can understand. Also there's a fear that Lewis may or may not continue with his university course, which takes us back to the question of maybe living in a different house next year. We all talked about our relationships, our futures and plans. It sounds really stupid but that conversation actually made me feel like a mature adult. I'm starting to plan things, take control of my life and get serious about my relationship and what I want to do in the future. My work experience at Official Playstation Magazine made me realise that Journalism, specifically gaming Journalism is definitely what I want to do in the future. I finally have a goal, I still need to be more confident in myself as a writer but I am getting there.

Things are hard for all of us at the moment but at least we all have each other to keep us sane! Not sure how I would survive without my uni mates. Sometimes, I'm a lucky girl.

Cold

My moods can be somewhat...erratic at times but that past week has not been nice for me. Maybe it's because I hadn't seen Alex in what felt like a very long time but what I mainly felt it was down to is this current cold I am experiencing. It hasn't really kicked in until today and it's just made me feel like shit. I suffered with hayfever all summer and now it's winter I have to put up with more of the same. It's rather tiring to say the least. But hey, at least I am fairly easy to cheer up!

On another, less moany note, I am actually starting to enjoy poetry! I was horrified when I found out I was stuck doing it this year but though I'm still not very good at it, I'm rather enjoying it! Maybe it's because I can get my emotions out through something nice and short rather than writing a short story which takes forever and I'm not very committed to at the moment because of a lack of inspiration. You can view my poems here.

Bare in mind I haven't written many yet but I will be adding one a week :) So keep a look out if you're interested and any comments would be welcomed.

Something that has cheered me up greatly is having another review published in Official Playstation Magazine. This time it's a decent size! This has made me very happy indeed as I can officially say I'm a published writer and in such a high quality magazine! Really want to get myself a copy when it's in the shops just to have it to show off. Can't wait to show my parents either if they haven't already, they'll be proud!

HappyFace

This has been a good week. Mainly because yesterday was spent entirely with Alex. Unfortunately for me, it's not very often I get to have Alex for a whole day or more but for once he was free and I'd been looking forward to this in a while. He turned up around midday yesterday, earlier than expected but luckily I'd just finished doing my hair and finishing up my Journalism work. So, Alex suggested we head out to London. We had a great time wondering around, it took as an age to find Forbidden Planet but we got there in the end! We looked around a few shops and stopped for coffee. We didn't buy much but we were knackered so we headed home to get dressed up and go out for dinner.

I couldn't decide where I wanted to eat so Alex suggested Ha Ha Bar and Grill. I'd never been there so I was willing to try it plus it was right next to the Thames, a nice location and not too far to walk! Alex put on his suit then waited downstairs while I got dressed. I wore a black dress, tights and my fav leopard print heels. When I got downstairs the rest of my housemates were making dinner and complimented how me and Alex looked. Matt took a nice picture of us which was a nice thought as we have no pictures of us together. That may seem weird to some people but considering our situation, it's kind of difficult! Anyways I can't wait to see that picture. Then we said our goodbyes and headed off to Ha Ha. I was practically the same height as him in my heels! So we walked together down to the restaurant.

The food was lovely. Alex had lamb (which was when I tried lamb for the first time!) and I had chicken wrapped in ham. It was absolutely amazing. I had a cocktail and he had a beer. Then for pudding he had cheesecake and I had chocolate brownies, nom nom! We were going to go to the cinema afterwards as Alex wasn't in a drinking sort of mood but orange Wednesday meant it was very busy and we couldn't be bothered to queue and possibly miss the beginning of our film. So instead we went home and chilled out with the others.

Yesterday has made me realise how much I really want this whole thing to work out. I'm not going to go all squishy and romantic on you guys but I seriously hope good things are to come. My housemates have said they would be happy for Alex to come and live with us if things turn out good which is really nice of them. I think they just want me to be happy. This is why I love them so much! <3

Time to start working...

My few weeks of doing not much are coming to an end. I am truly quite worried about what my courses are going to be like this year as I know it's a huge jump from 1st to 2nd year. Be that as it may I have to do it and I'm sure I will be fine. I also have Friday and Saturday to look forward to, Eurogamer! On Friday I'm heading to Waterloo to meet Alex and then we are making our way to Earls Court where we will probably meet Rob (who I am looking forward to meeting!) and his friend. We won't see Rob most of the day as he is mainly going for the job fayre which is a shame but at least I get to spend time with Alex. Though I am going with him on the Friday I will still miss him not being there with the rest of the minions on Saturday. Oh well. Another time perhaps.

Alex told me he had started packing today for his new flat but he's not moving until November! Utter madness but at least he will be prepared I guess! Originally I was a bit gutted about him moving house with her. Hearing about him going on holiday with her was hard enough without him telling me that they were moving for six months after he came back. I'm getting over it now though, especially with the promise of things ending in a few months time (hopefully). I will still end things if they aren't sorted by July but every thing looks on the up now. Everyone cross their fingers for me :).

Enough about that rubbish though. I looked at my uni timetables recently and it now looks as if I don't have lessons on both Tuesdays AND Wednesdays! A lecture on Wednesdays has suddenly disappeared from my timetable! I'm not sure if it will come back or not but I don't seem to have many lessons at all this year! Guess I will be doing 90% of my work at home though so the pressure is on me to get stuff done! I am determined to be more organised this year and get stuff done as soon as possible. At least I can lock myself away in my room this year without the temptation of someone wanting to come round and play games! So hopefully, I'll get more work done.

Resident Evil Afterlife

I have always enjoyed the Resident Evil films and for me, this one was almost perfect, much better than the last film. The story follows on from the last, Alice is chasing Wesker to see what he is plotting whilst also trying to find other survivors of the infection. The story doesn't get much more complicated than that really. There are so many references to Resi 5 (the game) to keep fans like me happy, a couple of fight scenes were directly taken from the game! Loved it.

As for the 3D, this is possibly one of the best 3D films I've ever seen. Depth of field, like in Avatar or Toy Story 3 are fine but come on, the REAL point of 3D is to have stuff flying at you, otherwise you don't notice it! This film definitely had that, brain, blood and bullets flying at you is damn good fun. There's a lot of slow-mo moments too which are okay but a little too over-used.

The characters were pretty much spot on. This film introduced Chris Redfield into the host of survivors and surprisingly, Wentworth Miller is spot on as Chris. He's got the voice and attitude perfect. The costume designer could have done a better job but no matter, because Wesker's costume was amazing. It was exactly the same suit he wears in Resi 5. Brilliant. Not to mention the introduction of the mind controlling chest clasps that Jill wears in the game.

From the end there's definitely going to be a sequel, Milla Jovovich said herself this film was so successful they would make another (as her husband directs it and all). Personally, I can't wait. It's going to be amazing from the teaser after a part of the credits...

Hard

For some reason, I feel this year is going to be hard. Not just work wise (which is something I am genuinely worrying about too) but emotionally. Things are going to hopefully change. If they do, it's going to be hard but if they don't that will be even harder for me. I am looking forward to the prospect of change but I also fearing it.

A few nights ago, when I went to bed, a strange feeling of fear and sudden insecurity for NO REASON. I actually cannot explain why I felt like that. I just did. I guess my lack of confidence in myself will probably never go away completely, I can only try and keep it at bay, locked up tight. I have no reason to feel like this at all. I'm so confused. It's hard to understand myself at the moment. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do, except to keep it locked up and get on with things, it's my only option right now. Sigh :/

Although, at the pub the other night I realised something. As usual, I felt a bit insecure and un-superior to all the girls in the bathroom dressed up and looking amazing yet some how still complaining about their hair. But the second time I was in there I heard some girls talking about how they didn't want boyfriends because that was too much hassle. They were talking about their one night stands and I thought, how sad, no wonder women are treated like shit by some men, they bring it upon themselves, they only have themselves to blame. When I got back to the table with all my friends I told them about what I heard and Matt said something that actually made me feel a whole lot better. He said that "I don't want a boyfriend because it's too much hassle" actually translates to "I can't get a boyfriend because I'm a slag". It's harsh but very true. It made me realise that I shouldn't care if there are other better women out there, I have someone who truly loves me for who I am so why should I care what anybody else thinks? As long as I can keep thinking that to myself I know I'll be alright.

I like to PlayStation Move it

Well today was the release day of PlayStation move, something I was sceptical of at first until I saw it at E3. The 1:1 movement and arrange of exciting games coming out really impressed me. Luckily, my flat mate Matt was getting Move, otherwise I'd never have the chance to play it until Eurogamer and there's no way I'd be able to afford it either. At the moment we only have demos, Resi 5 and Heavy Rain to test our glowing ball wands out on. Heavy Rain is not patched until the 22nd I believe so we have to do without until then. Resi 5 with the move controllers was surprisingly good fun. Matt and I played some co-op with the controllers and it was brilliant, much better than expected as I had played Resi 4 before with the Wii controller and couldn't get on with it. Mainly because it wasn't precise enough for me which of course Move sorts out with it's 1:1 precision. It's pretty easy to get used to too, though this will be proven in the later, harder levels I suppose.

As for the demos we tried our favourite was Start the party. It's possibly one of the funnest party games I've played. There's a variety of mini games but the best one on the demo is where the Move controller turns into a paintbrush. If you wiggle the controller the tip of the paintbrush wobbles, great detail! Basically shapes appear onscreen and you must paint inside them to build an overall image at the end such as an alien that comes to life out of the shapes you've painted. It's a simple concept but so much fun. Best of all you only have to pass one controller around to play so you don't need to buy four. Sports Champions playing table tennis is also great, simply because the controller copies your smooth movements so well.

It's early days yet but I can't wait to see what else Move brings to the table.

Going back to Kingston

I am in a strange mixture of happiness and sadness at the moment. The happiness very much overrides the sadness for once which is good. I just worry about Alex as he is not in the best of mood recently as life is somewhat difficult for him. I have hopefully cheered him up by telling him I will come to Eurogamer on the friday with him. I'm actually really looking forward to that because I will get to meet his mate Rob who apparently already likes me so that's a win! Hopefully he will still like me by the time he actually meets me! So yes, I can't wait for that. Also my cookies have magically happiness powers it seems as he said they made him happy. Yay! It's hard for me wanting to help and frustrated because I can't physically be there.

This morning I spent packing for university and it's most all done now! Just a few things to finish off in the morning and I majorly need to go shopping too but that can all be done when we get there. Matt (and hopefully Rachel) are excited I'm moving in tomorrow which is nice, will be so good to see them as I've missed everyone over the summer so much! Though I'm not really looking forward to the work! Always the way. At least I will have loads of people nearby to comfort me if I get too stressed about work. I'm also going to go job hunting as soon as possible so I can stop worrying about money! Wish me luck :)

Go ape!

Yesterday I had the most amazing day with Alex. A while ago he suggested taking me to Go Ape instead of the original plan of Thorpe Park because I'd never done anything like Go Ape but had always wanted to. I set off for Guildford on the train with bright red hair which I hadn't told Alex about as I wanted to surprise him. I'd unfortunatly forgot the biscuits though! Which he teased me about all day. When I arrived I had to wait quite a while for him to get to the train station. I waited in the "usual spot" and dodging taxi drivers who really wanted to give me a lift! When he arrived he was rather...speechless. I'd really surprised him! This made me happy. He did like it though it took him a while to get used to. I was then called "redhead" all day.

When we got back to his we sat and played Kane and Lynch 2 which is just an utterly awful game. I knew it was going to be bad but the shoddy camera just made me feel sick! Especially when I ran anywhere! We could only play about three levels until we felt a bit too ill to continue. Alex has always quite liked the story though so I left the game with him for him to complete then give back to me. We then got some lunch (Bacon sandwich and a chocolate bar, nom nom) before heading off for Go Ape.

I was quite nervous about the whole thing I have to admit. As I'd never done anything like this before. They put us in harnesses then put us in a big group of people. Luckily, because there was only two of us we got to go first, putting us ahead of all the kids which would have drove us insane. I was reassured how Alex came across as a bit of a professional, so much so he was asked to demonstrate and go first on the first course (which is not very high off the ground at all). I followed him and as soon as we'd done it we were allowed to continue to the next course before the others. No waiting for the win! This one was of course much higher up and this was when I started to get more nervous! The problem is, you're pretty much up there by yourself so your own safety is in your own hands. You just have to make sure you're always attached to the tree and that you're doing it right. I was most worried about remebering what to do but once you've done it a few times it's so natural.

The first little bit to do up there really freaked me out. It's called the Tarzan swing and basically you swing into a net. It's really quite hard to have faith to jump of the edge of a tree and have faith you'll be safe! I did do it though (whilst screaming "Fuuuuccckkkk") which Alex found hilarious but even though he made fun of me during the day he was really supportive too which was nice. At the end of every course you have to zip line down to the bottom which again is very scary but the best feeling in the world when you do it! Plus Alex gave me some tips so I never landed on my bum! Smooth landing for the win. We were suggested to skip 3 and come back to it because there was a bit of a wait but we really wanted to do them in order so we decided we didn't mind waiting. It was a huge group in front of us but they all knew each other, they were all adults and they were all so nice! Especially the guy in front of us who was so chatty, funny and friendly, we ended up following them for the rest of the day. Alex and I also thought of funny things to shout as we swung across things and zip lined. We also spotted a man who looked just like Stan Lee! It was hilarious! Such good times. I actually think one of the best parts of the day was seeing Alex so happy. He was messing around on all the crossings, dancing and moonwalking across bridges, I could tell he hadn't had this much fun in a long, long time and it made me really happy to see him like that.

It took us about 3 hours to complete everything and by that time I was gasping for a drink! Was pretty tired too so we headed off to get Nandos. There was a huge queue at Nandos so we went to Blockbusters first and Alex brought step brothers as he said I was find it funny and I'd never seen it. Then we went back to get food and then we went home. The rest of the evening was spent watching Step Brothers, eating and drinking Alex's own hot chocolate (no, that's not a euphemism). I wish I could have stayed over but I'd already told my parents I would be back this evening so I had to go home. Alex drove me home at about 12:30 meaning we got to Portsmouth at about 1:30. I was shattered. Almost fell asleep in the car and was very worried about Alex doing the same on the way back. I really didn't want him to drive home alone but he had to so I gave him his biscuits and bid him goodbye. I would have stayed up all night worrying about him but luckily I was so tired I fell straight asleep. I woke up to a text that he'd got home safe, breathed a sigh of relief then went back to sleep.

I am totally exhausted today, as is Alex and I got more sleep than him! (He's at work now). It was completly worth it though. Best day in a long time :) I'm not looking forward to tomorrow though - packing to go back to uni. I really hate packing it's so stressful. Hopefully my parents will help me with most of it, all I need to sort out is clothes and personal stuff I want to take really. Can't wait to move in though. Will be good to be back.

Changes

It has come to my attention recently that I have upset someone through what I have written on here. I never, ever want to hurt anyone so I have decided to make a vow here today, on this blog. I will never complain about anyone on here ever again. I know my blog is a place to vent but it's really no excuse to publish nasty things about people on the internet. I don't want anyone to get hurt from what I write so if I can't say anything nice...it shall not be mentioned. because let's be honest, if it was something serious I would say it to the persons face and not behind their back, so it can't have been that serious! Anyway, I will speak of this no more but expect my blogs to be more people friendly from now on.

Laura xxx

:)

It's strange that coming back from Bath seems to have been a bit of a downer on me! I'm not sure why but I am fighting it with all my might as I truly do hate being miserable. The fight is working too which is good. Last night I was on the phone to Alex until 3am! Woops! The time went by too quick as usual. We had a good chat though, even a political debate at one point which was random. Also found that Moo has said some nice things about me to Alex which has made me happy! Always nice to be liked eh!

Today I went shopping for a little bit. I decided to buy a coat I'd had my eye on for a while. It's a red mac style raincoat I love it! Though everything in my life is getting more red! Argh! Over-load! Not sure why I like red so much but hey ho. My sister got a very cute beanie baby mouse to be a best friend for Cheezer who she takes everywhere with her. So everyone is happy!

Tomorrow I have the house to myself as my mum and dad are going away for one day for my dad's work. So I'm going to cook for my sister and then my friends are coming round for a bit before we all head our separate ways again! Though I haven't heard from Marnie at all for a long, long time. I wonder if I've upset her? Ahh well I guess I'm not missing out on much. I've posted on her Facebook wall to ask her why she isn't getting back to me so we shall see I guess. I know I moan about her but I do hope I haven't upset her, I never want to upset anyone no matter how much they annoy me! But anyway, it will be fun to have a good old chat with Bex and Alice about things! We had fun last time at least.

I'm also getting my hair cut tomorrow for the first time in a year. Again. I'm really bad at looking after my hair aren't I? I don't like getting my hair cut though and I especially don't like paying for it but it's getting done tomorrow and my mum is giving me some money for it which is nice! Win :)

OPM work experience

I've just come back from the most amazing week. Obviously I can't put too much detail up here as out of respect, I am keeping most things quiet but I can tell you all a little bit about it.

One my first day I was so nervous. My parents dropped me off and I went into the building. I'd been in here before so I walked up to the desk and explained myself. The lady was nice, got me to fill out a slip and called someone from OPM down. She also gave me a card which turned out to be a lovely good luck card from Martyn and family - so sweet! I sat and waited with another girl who was also doing work experience, not sure where though. Then Leon appeared. I saw his eyes flicker from the other girl to me until he either recognised me or realised the other girl looked far too feminine! I waved to him and then shook his hand. He asked me a few questions as we made our way upstairs and he quickly showed me around the office. He was really the only one in but the others soon started to emerge as the time passed. The IT people set up my own username and password so I could access any computer I wanted but before I logged on Ben invited me to come along to the podcast recording.

It sounds silly but I didn't realise the podcast was recorded in a different building. It was only round the corner and as we walked there I had a bit of a chat with Ben about the minions which was nice. He certainly is very chatty and he makes you feel involved in things, which is lovely. When we got there they all sat round the table and I sat with James Jarvis who was recording and sound checking everything. Everything is recorded on one long take and any mistakes, swearing etc are edited out afterwards so it meant I got to listen to the uncut version, hurrah! It was an interesting experience and meant I now don't have to listen to the next one.

The rest of my first day consisted of collecting screenshots and artwork for the top 50 playstation games of all time as that will be one of the main features for the next mag. As sad as it sounds it's strangely satisfying to see the art guy using the pictures I'd picked out in the feature. It was also very funny hearing Ben commentate on people's votes as he was the one collating them.

Tuesday lunchtime I met Martyn for lunch and he took me to a nice cafe and we had a chat about things. Was nice just to spend time with him - unfortunately I made him a little bit late back for work which I felt bad about. The rest of my days spent at the OPM office was a lot of doing little jobs. But you know what? Even doing the little things wasn't boring! Which made me think if I did end up doing a job like this, it really would be my dream job. I got to write the round up news section which was fun and I'm going to get 2 small reviews published - yay! I can't wait to see my name under something in next weeks mag. That will make me so happy. I think my dad is so proud he's thinking of framing everything I've ever put in the magazine! Such as all the off the wall stuff and the letter of mine that got published.

Wednesday evening I met up with Lee Groom and Martyn, we had dinner somewhere and then pudding somewhere else. Lee was a nice bloke, very friendly and jolly so all in all it was a great evening. But the best day of all was my last day of work. Near the end of the day I'd finished all the work Joel had given me, he felt a bit mean giving me any more work to do so he let me choose a game of my choice to play. I think the choice was dead rising 2, enslaved or vanquish. I really wouldn't have minded any of those 3 as they all appealed to me but I ended up choosing Dead Rising 2 as I love a bit of zombie bashing. So I played that whilst texting Martyn to arrange going to the pub with the minions. Tim and Rachel came to sit next to me to watch and Tim took over at one point to have a play. It really did make me laugh the way he was shouting "HAVE SOME CHAIR ZOMBIE!" Though he ended up killing me and I hadn't saved...woops back to the start then!

As thanks team OPM gave me a copy of Kane and Lynch 2 but they felt a bit mean about that so later on in the pub Rachel came over and gave me some signed Final Fantasy artwork and a God of War 3 box with the game in and loads of other little extras. I was genuinely surprised! I really am a very lucky girl! Plus Ben brought me a drink! Spoilt! OPM couldn't spend too long in the pub as it was someones leaving do. Though she had very kindly invited me and my friends along to it so we said we'd come along later as Ben was very insistent we come. We were hungry so we went to pizza hut first - which was good times. Then we ended up braving the rain to go to this other pub we were invited to. The lady whose leaving do it was, was surprised there was so many of us and Joel said they'd been waiting for us. It was a really good night, felt really happy, surrounded by people having conversations (and sometimes arguments!) about games and, of course, surrounded by my best friends. I was annoyed I had to leave early but it wouldn't have been fair to keep my parents up really late so I had to head back.

All in all I had a great week. Couldn't have asked for a better one :)

Broken

I haven't blogged for a while. This is due to two reasons. The first one being, I have been too busy. The day after Alex arrived back in England he came down to see me and we had a day in sunny Pompey. It was the best day I've had in a long time but I wore my legs out again from so much walking! Keeps me fit at least I guess. The second reason for not blogging is that my laptop has broken. I don't why it broke but one day the hard drive decided to pack up, meaning I couldn't even wipe the system. It's annoying I will lose all my photos, music, etc but that can all be replaced as my music is on my MP4 and my photos are on facebook. My uni work is on a memory stick (not that it matters, first year is gone and counts for nothing). It is however, a huge inconvenience to me but at least it has happened before my guarantee has run out. Someone out there does like me after all.

Anyway, the said laptop was whisked away by someone very early this morning so hopefully it will be fixed and back in my hot little hands by the time Bath is over. Speaking of which I am both nervous and excited about. More excited now as it draws nearer I just hope I can be useful, not get in their way, etc. Argh! It will be okay! Plus I am to invite Martyn round for a cup of tea one evening apparently to meet my parents and crazy dog. Should be nice. Plus I'm seeing ALL the minions at the end of that weeks! *Squee* Going to be good :)

Bipolar

This week has been very up and down for me. It started off good but today it made me feel like my whole week had been rubbish, which is a lie really. But have you ever felt so rubbish it's like it's ruined your whole week? I felt like that today. I guess it's because I woke up ill and I've been stressing about a close friend recently and it's caused me to just be in a bad mood.

Today we went shopping in Chichester. I was not very pleased about this as I'd been twice recently and there's not very much there. Plus without a job I am starting to feel guilty about spending money even though I kind of know I don't have to worry. I am just like that when it comes to money. I worry far too much. Though I guess it's better than being the complete opposite. Anyway, while we looked round the shops it decided to stop being nice and sunny, yep it pissed it down and we got kinda damp. Luckily it was only a shower and we managed to hide in some shops until it stopped. Unluckily, on the way back to the car we got very wet. Swings and roundabouts.

The day got better after I'd gotten home and I am looking forward to Alex coming home this weekend as I have missed not being able to talk to him this week. Just one more week to get through...

Mew

Last night I caught up with two of my best mates, Alice and Bex. I went round to Bex's house in the evening. We had a chat about uni and journalism. Had a nice chat with her mum too who offered me dinner but I declined. Bex made me a hot chocolate and we went to go and sit int he front room together. I'd been there for an hour when Alice turned up who didn't realise she was late! Oops! She forgot the time but ran round as soon as she realised. We spent the time not only talking about current things but also reminised at the past. We all had a funny saying that we'd said at school. Apparently mine was the best: "Don't pick holes in the sponge of friendship!" I still, to this day, have no idea why that came into my head. I don't think I've ever said anything as witty as that ever. Though it probably doesn't sound witty at all to any of my readers...never mind.

Recently I brought the two Sony cats off ebay. Well, I brought one and my dad brought the other for my good uni results. And I love them to pieces. At my age, I really should grow up a bit and stop buying toys but hell, where's the fun in that eh? But in all seriousness: I must stop buying cute Japanese things! At least until I get a job.

Speaking of which my work experience is creeping closer and closer. Eek!

Oops

I know recently I've been abandoning this blog but I doubt anyone missed it to be honest! This week Alex has gone to see ze Germans in Berlin. I know it's only been day one but I am doing well I think! I'm missing him of course but we didn't really text each other much in the last couple of day before he went anyway! So I guess I am not missing much.

When I went to see him the other evening I brought back Lego Harry Potter with me for myself and my sister to play together. It's fantastic! I've always been a fan of the lego games, they take your favourite parts of the film and make them so funny. I don't get people who don't like the Lego games. Are they doing any harm to you? No? Okay shut up then and let us play with our kids, siblings or just be children again!

Also, it looks like instead of going to Thorpe Park, Alex and I will be going to Go Ape some time in September which I am excited about! I've always wanted to do something similar but I've never had the opportunity. Sounds like a fun but exhausting day out! Can't wait.

I feel rather proud that last week I drove a boat! How cool is that? I mean all I had to do was steer it down the river, avoiding other boats and keeping to the right side of the river but still, it was pretty awesome and it's one more thing I can say I've done.

I'm not waiting for my Sony Kuro cat to arrive in the post! It was dispatched today and I am EXCITED. Though I really need to stop spending money on cute Japanese things...

Currently listening to: maroon 5-Infactuation
"Infactuation, I've seen the rest of you, it's getting the best of me. Such a shame that you shot me down, would have been nice to have been around. I'm touching your skin, if it's only a fantasy then why is it killing me?"

Beach party

Well it's been far too long since I went to a party but my God this made up for it. I got to Poole via train around 3:15pm. I saw Jen and others through the railings straight away and when I actually got off the train JB was somehow right in front of me! Wow we were really all here already? Unfortunately I forgot to scream at JB but since we were just opposite each other it would have been a little over the top...

We crossed the bridge to meet up with just about everyone except Iain and Coops who were running late. So we decided to get into town to be ready to start buying stuff for tonight and to meet them in town. So off started the two hours or more of rushing around town buying, well, absolutely everything! It was a bit tiring and crazy and some of us were craving a drink but eventually we were done. New to the scene was Jen's friend Josh who was very lovely and funny. Michelle, Martyn's wife came for a while with mini minion Wren who didn't not cry once! She was such a cutie, even offered me a grape! So, so cute. Also Moo's wife-to-be Kelly came along for the ride. She was also lovely if I little quiet but I suppose it's hard when there are so many people around that you don't know! And everyone was failing on the introduction front. Crazy times.

After the shopping we sorted out who was going and who was staying and who stuff was going in what car, etc. Michelle was taking Wren and going home so we said our goodbyes to them and set off for the ferry. There was a bit of a queue for the ferry but the journey across it was extremely quick. Then came the task of hauling all our bag across the sand to a spot where we could sit for the night. We made our way over to Jen's friends who were over by a camping stove area, handy! We all swiftly got our first drinks down us, some of us made an effort to introduce ourselves. Shamefully me and JB were too lazy but we had a fun time talking utter crap. I don't think either of us remember what was said that was so funny but we laughed at a lot of stuff. Was good times! I especially remember JB suggesting we buried the chicken eggs (meant for breakfast) and then pretended we'd found turtle eggs and then we'd see if they'd hatch. Yeah. A big old what the fuck indeed but my God did I laugh.

Later on after we'd nommed some WTFBBQED food we distracted the boss using Holly and Martyn and prepared Bossman's birthday cake. JB and I were the "little and large" cake hiding wall. Though Jb uttered to me "I came all the way to London for fucking cake!", we both burst into laughter, he was joking of course but it was so funny. Lighting the candles (especially the ones that spelt out: 300), was a bit of a fail on a slightly windy beach but Bossman pretended to blow them out so it was all good! It was a pretty pink Disney princess cake which Bossman loved, though we all agreed it had the wrong princess on it-where was Ariel and Belle?(Respect was given to Belle for shagging a beast).

Wez, Jen's boyfriend, came along and buried me in sand at one point to turn me into a mermaid! I think everyone found it funny how I just sat there and accepted it. Well why not eh!

I spent most of the evening with Jb and chatting to Martyn to be honest! It made a nice to change to be hanging out with Jb, was good fun and he was making me laugh with his theories that the island across the water (which we assumed to be the Isle Of Wight) was actually Jurassic Park. Though he said "He was too drunk to be dealing with dinosaurs". Also the moon, which looked very odd, was apparently the Death Star and we were now all doomed. Luckily I don't remember the planet being blown up so I think we got away with it...

Very late at night, I'm not sure what the time was, Holly really wanted to go for a swim. I was totally up for it as I was drunk but I also was wearing my bikini underneath my clothes. Holly went to change and I stripped off and we ran off into the sea. There was much a squeal over the temperature of the water but it wasn't actually that bad. When we got out Holly had her Lara Croft towel prepared and we huddled together, Holly, Laura and Lara, win! When we got back to camp minion I rushed over to my bag to get my own towel and just sat there wrapped up in it. All I remember then was Martyn, who'd just drunk a load of fermented Archers (it tasted like maple syrup), looked up at me and said "Alex is mental" before proclaiming my lap was comfy and resting his head on it. He actually fell asleep on there at some point! Bossman also got out his Ipod and some speakers and played some old school, tunes. When "Gangsta's Paradise" came on, me and Bossman sung weird Al's "Amish paradise" lyrics along to it which was very funny!

Eventually we all decided (I think it was around 3am) that we should get some sleep. I gently lifted up Martyn off my leg and left him on the sand. He was pretty heavily asleep by now. Holly helped me undo my bikini top which was in a stupidly tight knot and Bossman kindly held up a towel for me as I put on my bra! I wanted to be in dry clothes before I went to sleep you see. So I got dressed and Bossman laid out his huge tarpaulin and we got our sleeping bags on it, turned off the music and went straight to sleep.

I woke up around 6am. The sun had risen over the water, looked very pretty actually. I also felt surprisingly good considering how much I drank and how early it was. I text Alex that I was awake and all was well and he rung me and we had a little chat. He was very confused because he woke up to a text from each of us calling him a "Goldfish-faced fuck". Which, for some reason, was Bossman's idea. After that phone call I had a bacon roll which was nommy. I then made the mistake of going back to sleep as everyone else had and there wasn't anything else to do. Plus I was tired of course. When I got up later I was sick. Couldn't even keep umm the "Um bongo" Iain had given me! That's something that really doesn't need to be tasted twice...So yeah I couldn't keep down anything which was annoyed me because I was so thirsty for obvious reasons. It wasn't that bad though and after sort of throwing up on the ferry my stomach settled down after then. I still didn't eat anything though because I didn't want to be ill on the trains home. We got back to Jen's house at just past midday. Holly and Iain were dying for a cup of tea so some people had tea. I really wanted one too but was worried about my stomach so I stuck to water. Which I did manage to keep down. Good sign.

Eventually people thought it was time to leave so me, Jb and Josh (Jen's mate) squeezed in the back of Bossman's car and got a lift to the train station. Me and Jb then waited for a train to London. We had a few good little chats on the way back before I had to get off at Southampton. I got stuck with getting a fairly long train back to Portsmouth but it wasn't as bad as I originally thought. The whole train journey I was starving and dying of thirst. Now this is ME I'm talking about, the girl that eats shit loads. I was surprised I hadn't fainted but then, I was also wondering why I had no headache! The fuck? I was glad I was well though! When I got back to Portsmouth my dad gave me a lift back in the Mazda and I nommed Nachos for dinner and drank loads of water. All was well again. And today I woke up just before eleven, had a shower and now feel SO much better. My shoulders still kill but other than that I feel good! Best nights sleep ever.

Currently listening to: Elvis Presley-Suspicious minds
"Here we go again, asking where I've been. You can't see the tears, I feel like crying."

Marwell Zoo

I had a really fun day today at the zoo with my family. It wasn't too busy and it wasn't too hot and it didn't rain! Win. Saw loads of animals, some of them I'd never seen before! I especially loved seeing the snow leopards, tigers and lemurs.

The funniest part of the day was all the attention my backpack got! I wore my ring-tailed lemur backpack that my dad got for me ages ago. There's not many times I can wear it but I thought today would be perfect. I got a lot of remarks off people both child and adult saying things like "I thought that was real then!" and "Look that girl has a lemur on her back!". It was most amusing. Then there was one kid, he was so sweet. He stood behind me, stroking the long tail, he looked up at me with a grin and said "You have a tail!". He was so sweet! Made my day.

My sister is putting photos on facebook as I type though we've already looked at hers and my dad's on the PS3. He got some really good ones!

I can't actually be bothered to blog that much now but I did have a good chat with Jen yesterday who phoned me on her way home from work. She cheered me up about things slightly and now I am super excited about Saturday! I actually can't wait. I'm also determined to get very drunk. Good times ahead.

Happy birthday Bossman

Not really much to write about today. I spoke to Lewis on msn for the first time in ages last night and it was nice. Makes me realise how much I miss my uni mates! I think I will have to go back to uni earlier than I planned to. I'm still not sure when though. Sometime in September...we'll see.

I wish I could get things off my mind. I really do.

I am mostly looking forward to Saturday though so all is good. Hopefully the weather will be dry enough!

Also, if it's nice tomorrow we're going to Marwell zoo! Which should be fun. Looking forward to that! I was speaking to Alice earlier, she said we need to do something before she dies of boredom, I totally agree. So I've said next week we need to do something to celebrate us both passing. She doesn't mind what we do so maybe we could go to the beach in the afternoon and go to a pub in the evening? Just a thought! Will see how that goes. I'll have to plan it after this weekend.

It's also edging closer to my OPM work experience and damn I am nervous! Eek!

Currently listening to: Lady Gaga-Bad romance (vidzone): "I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything as long as it's free, I want your love. Love, love, love, I want your love."

Worthing

I've had a pretty good day. We all went to Worthing for the day because my dad was working there and it was something to do. We helped my dad unload everything before we went off shopping. I have kind of felt ill all day, I'm not sure why. Maybe the weather is affecting me in an odd way. It's been miserable today, I thought it might pour down at one point but it managed to stay dry thankfully. While walking around I felt very hot and a little bit sicky but I was fine. For lunch we had an ice-cream sundae which was so good but gone so quick! Eating something made me feel a little better so maybe it was just hunger...I don't know.

I didn't buy anything, there are too many things I currently want when I have no money. Well, I do have money but I am so paranoid on spending it as I am worrying about paying bills, etc in a few months time when I'm back at uni. I'm sure I will be fine but I do worry unnecessarily.

It's weird because I've had an okay day but I feel a bit down. I don't know why, or what about. I just do. Stupid emotions. I wish I didn't have any at all sometimes.

Relaxing day

Today has been a pretty good day. I started off the morning talking to Alex which was nice but I am very sad he's going away for a week in 2 weeks time! I guess it's only a week but it will seem like forever to me. Next year's going to be worse as I'm probably going on holiday for 2 weeks! But hopefully things will be better by then.

Today I got my new top from New Look which I love! So happy I grabbed a sale bargain and it goes with my purple/pink skirt I haven't been able to wear yet because I had no top to go with it! But now I can! Huzzah!

I've also been getting a couple more trophies on Dragon Age though I'm worry a couple may have glitched out on me...I'll know later on I guess. I really hope it hasn't fucked up for me!

Later on I had a four way game with Iain, Steve and Jake on Borderlands helping the Iain and Steve level up and get trophies. It was much fun as we were talking on MSN at the same time too. Good times. I didn't get long tonight so hopefully we'll get another chance to play with each other again. Oh and I was very grateful to Jake as he gave me a couple of Pearlescent weapons! One of them is a crazy SMG that fires spiraling bullets! I love it! And as I rightfully said: "My gun's so awesome it lags the game".

Tomorrow my dad is working in Worthing so me, my mum and my sister are tagging along to go shopping and maybe to the lovely ice-cream parlour they have there while my dad does his afternoon gig. So hopefully the weather is nice!

Alien invasion?

This morning, well by the time we went out it was actually afternoon, we popped along to the carboot. My sister picked up a couple of Harry Potter things but that was it as we'd arrived to late really. But the main reason we went out was to check out the sci-fi exhibition at Portsmouth's musuem. It was called "Alien Invasion" and had some pretty cool props! A red darlek, predator head, battlestar galatica costumes, a huge Alien, Mars Attacks aliens and a load of star wars stuff including a yoda, ewok, stormtrooper and darth Vader costume. By complete accident, I was wearing my Star Wars top. I walked past a huge fat bloke, with glasses, also wearing a star wars t-shirt. All that ran through my mind was "Please don't talk to me I don't want to be your special friend!". He didn't, of course but I had funny memories of the random bloke in a Jedi cape talking to Holly at MCM. Good times.

We looked around the rest of the museum too. They had a Sherlock Holmes exhibit and a history of Portsmouth and Southsea bit (which has been there forever). They also had some abstract art, most of it was utter balls as you'd expect. Still it made a change. After I got home the rest of the day has been spent grinding on Dragon Age, and no, not the fun kind of grinding, the kind which slowly drains away your soul...

Yesterday I got thinking, after my PSN being mobbed with people asking me if I'm a girl (then trying to add me) I wondered why does it matter if I'm a girl? I know the obvious answer is girl gamers, there's a lack of them and I suppose to most hardcore gamers they must be seen as some sort of Holy grail for men (as Johnboyy so graciously put it!) as sexual partners. Be that as it may I am targeting female gamers themselves here as I despise those sites where being a girl who games is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. See sites such as "You got beat by a girl". I saying I don't like at all because it suggests girls should automatically be worse at gaming than men. Which is not true, obviously. Or other sites such as "Fragdolls" which is just a group of attractive female gamers. Great? So even when we're gaming we're still seen as *just* sex objects. Plus let's admit it, what girl gamer really looks like that? Seriously? I'm not saying we're unattractive but we're not super models either.

I'm not going to go off on a massive feminist rant but is it too much to just been seen as equal? If we can't even achieve this in the gaming world then God knows how we'll ever get equal pay...

Currently listening to: Will Young-If love equals nothing
"Am I looking for the right thing in the wrong place? Tell me why does my heart rule my head? I think it likes to be a fool, it likes to be mis-lead. If love equals nothing but sadness and pain, why do I need it time and time again? When it builds me up high then drops me to the floor, beating me, cheating me, I still come back for more."

Shopping

Today we, my mum, sister and I, went shopping later than expected because my mum took forever to get out of bed. It didn't really matter though as town was pretty quite really considering. It was a successful shopping trip, Sami got a very pretty dress from a market stall. The lady there was very persistent in selling something! I was hoping my mum wasn't being forcefully cornered into anything but it was ok as the lady sold us the dress for a tenner! She was trying to sell me one but I said no, she said "Don't you wear dresses?". I replied "I do. I just have enough...". God damn woman leave me alone!

We walked past Ann Summers and my mum laughed at the "beer wench" costume inside which somehow brought us on the subject of traditional Austrian wear. Yes, we talk about strange things when we go shopping! And I talk about/bring up the minions far too often! Though I think my mum likes it because she's said before that she feels "involved in my life" because I tell her so much about my friends, which is nice!

The only thing I got was a bargain underwear set which is uber pretty and was uber cheap so I was happy enough. My sister and I also got a shakeaway to share which was good! After all that we looked at the time and it was 3pm! So we decided to start walking home. It was a boiling hot day and I could feel a headache coming on again, walking home was pretty horrible and I kind of wish I'd worn shorts rather than jeans! Never mind.

I got home and took some painkillers straight away and laid down on the sofa for half an hour which has seemed to have worked for now. My sister has made cupcakes with vanilla butter icing on and dolly mixtures to decorate! Nom! But since I've just had a huge portion of butterscotch ice cream I think I will wait until later to try one. My sister is definitely the creative one of the family! Though she gave me a good idea today, she said I should make a scrap book and fill it with photos of my friends which I am actually loving the idea of. I could do one for university and put them in time order to remind me of uni. I could do a rocket minion one too and a version for my old friends! Sounds like an awesome idea to me! Though I think my dad will get arsey about me using all his printer ink but we'll see. It would give me something to do and would be a fantastic thing to look back through in the years to come.

Currently listening to: Nightwish-The phantom of the opera
"The phantom of the opera is here...inside my mind."

Excitement

Yesterday I was worried that someone didn't care enough, wasn't worried enough. I spoke to Bossman about my worries and immediately felt better. So much so today has been a good day for me and my worries were probably nothing to be worried about. As per usual for me then.

I'm not sure what to write about today. Especially as at the moment I am lying slanted on the sofa feeling a combination of headache, sickness and hunger. It's not good. I don't think I've drunk enough today and I've probably been playing Dragon Age for about 5 hours non-stop! Oops. Despite this I am mostly happy, even though I am envying the fact a lot of my friends will be going out tonight. Maybe it's because I am excited about next weekend's beach party. I am gutted Alex and Richie can't come but I'm sure it will still be a laugh. I am also wondering what kind of booze to bring with me. I'm sure I'll think of something before next weekend.

My sister is now off of school for the summer so I wonder if we will be spending more time together or not. I also realised my sister reminds me of those arty students at university. If you've been to uni you'll know what I mean, the ones who dress weird and have to look unique at all times. Yep, that's definitely my sister! Not that there's anything wrong with that, as long as she doesn't turn poncy about things I don't mind what she turns out like. And I'm sure that will never happen. After all, she told me once I'd been a good example for her. I'm sure how I've done this but it always makes me feel good about myself to know that really, underneath it all, I'm a good kid.

Currently listening to: Lady gaga-Alejandro
"She's got both hands in her pocket, and she won't look at you, won't look at you."

Walk.

Today I decided to go for a walk to clear my head and think straight about things. I think my dad almost died of shock when I told him I was going for a walk by myself this morning. It's not something I usually do. So off I went, I had a fair idea of where I was going to go. I decided to walk my old route towards college except I walked through St James hospital which is a mental hospital. I used to walk a longer way to college. Mainly to meet my friend Alice on the way but also because my mum didn't like the idea of me walking through St James as she'd heard some sort of story of a woman getting raped there. I'm not whether the said story is true or not but St James is also where I used to donate my blood so it's perfectly safe, at least during the day. So any I walked through there and then suddenly thought while I was walking that I should have brought a camera. I could have taken some really nice photos. I walked past a teeny little church or chapel and I was so busy looking at the prettiness of it all I didn't realise I'd taken a wrong turning. I followed the sign that said way out and just ended up walking all the way around rather than cutting through, no biggy. Then I saw something that made me stop in my track and really wish I'd brought a camera.

A small, skinny fox was just stood there staring straight at me and then turned around and walked under a fence into the greenery. I followed him and peered over the gate. He knew I was there and I was no more than 5 feet away and yet he just sat there staring into the distance. He was tiny for a fox, quite possibly a very young one but he was beautiful and I couldn't believe how close to him I was. Despite the bad reputation they get, foxes are still rather beautiful creatures. I stood there watching him for a while and then continued on past the men who were cutting down some trees. I kept walking until I knew where I was and exited out of the back of St James. I continued down to road and walked across the common. This is the route I used to walk every day to college. It was a beautiful day today and the insects in the long grass were making a hell of a noise. Look to the left side of the common and you see a busy road and council houses. Look to the right however and you could be in Africa. Nothing but messy shrubbery, long grass and blue sky. Pretty.

I was heading towards the sea. Not the sea front. It the uglier side of the sea, lots of smelly seaweed and moored up boats. It is still nice though, especially on a day like this where the tide was mostly in. I was so hot I could wait to sit down so I sat on the edge of the wall in some dusty dirt, put my feet on a rock and just sat there and admired the view. I sat for a while, squinting into the distance through the harsh sunlight at the ships and the blue sea. When I eventually continued walking I stopped again to watch the swans at swan lake and sat on a bench nearby. Unfortunately my hay fever was really playing up so I couldn't stay out for too long I decided. Even though I would have liked to. To decided to continue on, passing the perfect little houses I always like walking past. They're right next to the sea and have amazing front gardens. Each one of them perfect. They look like lovely little houses to live in! They make me jealous every time I pass them.

I walked over a little bridge and passed the skeleton of a ship. As a kid this skeleton used to be a wrecked ship which I used to play on as a kid. Funny to think really as even then it must have been dangerous but me and Kirsty used to love jumping across this rotting ship and climbing all over it. But now there is only the spine of the ship left. Amazing that it's still there at all really. Opposite the said ship is a restaurant I also used to go to with my friend as a kid too. I can't quite remember why I used to go in there but I do remember they had a kids playroom in there which I loved because you could write with chalk all over the walls.

I walked home and as I came out of the back alley my dog Ollie was stood there staring at me. Luckily I had caught dad just taking out the dog for a walk! So I walked with him to the park to tell him about my walk.

The rest of the day was spent playing Dragon Age to get the few more trophies I need to platinum the game. It won't be a hard game to plat it just takes up a hell of a lot of your time. You have to really enjoy the game to do so basically! I am 8 trophies away from getting the plat. Two of them I will definitely earn tomorrow. Another two of them will be very easily earnt. The only one I feel I may have a problem with is doing 250 damage IN ONE HIT. Which, if you've played the games, is very, very hard. I'm not sure how I'll do it but I am working on it! The top amount of damage in one hit I am getting is only 90 at the moment but I've attached some runes to my sword and am finding better swords all the time, so hopefully along with doing that and building up my willpower and strength when I level up, I should earn it eventually. Here's hoping!

Anyway today I have decided what I should do and I think it is a good decision. We shall see.

Happy Birthday Alex

Today I have decided not to write about my day as for one, not much happened and two, it has not been a good one for me. Instead I decide to try and be a bit more positive about the past two years or so.

Before I met any of the minions I was a pretty unhappy kid. I pretty much hated myself, had very little confidence, blah, blah blah. Then I met the minions and my God they have seriously changed my life! Sure I still have bad days but so does everyone. Confidence wise though I've never liked myself more. So thanks you guys!

It's amazing to think in a couple of days I will have known Alex for two years and this December will be two years for most of the minions too. Fantastic. It feels like longer though. The days of me being unhappy with myself and being without gaming friends seem so far away. I just hope (as cheesy as it sounds) our friendship never ends.

Tomorrow I have decided, permitted it does rain too hard, I'm going for a walk. By myself. I really need to just walk and think about things. I am quite looking forward to it actually. I need to get out of the house and just be by myself I think. We shall see. For now though, I need to go to bed and try to sleep as last night I slept terribly. Well, once I was asleep it was fine, I just couldn't get to sleep. I don't think I need to explain why. Anyways, good night!

Marines conquor all.

Today was another boring day. Or so I thought. I started off playing Dragon Age whilst chatting to Alex on msn who was playing Alien Vs Predator with Matt. He then invited me to come play with them so I thought why not and joined them. Luckily in most games we were Marines, the only species I have played as so far. And boy did we kick butt. Game after game after game, no one could defeat us! Okay, we did eventually get beaten but it took a long time for anyone to really challenge us. I went from being ranked 1 today (I've never played the online before) to rank 9! Win. It was so much fun, we had an msn conversation going on at the same time to make it easier to communicate without headsets. We did come across one game where some kids had some headsets which was really annoying because they kept saying "my name is so and so". Eugh. I was sat there ignoring it when I heard Alex shout "SERIOUSLY GUYS! OUR NAME IS SHUT THE FUCK UP!". I laughed so much! Of course it just provoked everyone to start saying shut the fuck up to each other but luckily the game started soon after that outburst so we couldn't hear them anyway.

But yes, overall those games we had together made my day! It was mucho fun and looks like we'll be getting together for more games in the future! Good times.

Also, before I even started gaming today, I got two PSN messages. One was someone trying to add me, they'd seen me post on one of the Playstation blogs which was discussing female gamers and developers. He said "good for you sticking up for yourself. I'm Tom by the way." I think that is so nice! Okay, so there's a danger he might just been looking for a girl gamer to hit on but we shall see. For now he has charmed me and I've added him. The second message was by someone who's not on my list and who I don't know at all. I'm not sure where he got me from, maybe he too saw me posting on the blog? He sent a message simply saying "Are you a girl". I replied: "Yes, why?". Later on I got a reply ignoring my question and saying "How old are they". Which leaves me to guess that he's both foreign, or just has poor grammar and is possibly hitting on me. I've ignored him for now. If I get anymore prying messages I guess I'll have to block him. Girl gamers. We get all the weirdos...

An apology

This is a blog to say sorry for being such a bitch. Recently a lot of stupid little things have been stressing me out, to the point I have to take it out on something or someone else. I never, ever mean to upset the people I love but sometimes we all do. I believe we only hurt those people because they're so close to us that you think it's okay because they can take it because they love you. I mean, that's why every kid has arguments with their parents when they're upset right? I remember when I went through a horrible phase when I was a teenager of shouting at my parents so much. I felt so much anger and hate because I was stressed out at school. It wasn't really ever their fault but I was so depressed I felt I had to take it out on someone and unfortunately, parents are the closest things to you and so they get all the blame. I hate being like this and I am sorry. But my friends keep me going and ignore the fact I stress out and love me anyway which makes me so happy.

One less stress to take off the pile is having to re-take my failed module! I got a letter from Kingston Uni yesterday saying the department had decided I didn't need to re-take anything and that I was moving on to the next year! Epic win! I'd been beating myself up over this stupid mistake of a module for ages. I was so annoyed as I'd worked so hard this year and I messed up a load of hard work. But that doesn't matter now because they've decided to pass me! I could not be happier about this.

Currently listening to: Guns n' roses-Paradise City
"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are are pretty. Take. Me. Home."

New shoes and exam results

First of all my new shoes came today which I love to pieces! Bargain hunter girl strikes again. They were only just over a tenner when they're worth £40+! Ebay is my best friend. So anyway I hopped onto the laptop to put up a picture and see what was going on on Twitter/Facebook. When I checked Facebook Matt had posted a status about getting his uni results and that he'd passed. Finally they'd submitted them to the website! So I logged in straight away to check my results. Basically, I'd gotten all B's with one C. I've failed one module from the first term which I knew about anyway because I'd forgotten to submit half my work with that one. A stupid mistake which I'm now paying for. I'd emailed my tutor (also called Laura) who passed it onto the head of department. She said I'd have to wait for my letter results and they'd give me details of what's going to happen with that letter apparently. So now I guess I just have to wait for a letter. Overall I'm really happy with my results! I even got one A- for part of my multi-media news writing course. I'm happy I am doing well in Journalism!

After that was all sorted I went to town to go shopping with my mum. I didn't buy anything I just wanted to get out of the house really and try out my new shoes (which are really comfy). While I was walking around Alex was texting me. He's complaining that I'm getting Bossman a birthday present and not him. Now way, way before his birthday, when I asked him what he wanted, he said I didn't have to get him a present and that he just wanted to see me. So I thought fine, okay, I don't have to worry about it then. But now he's complaining out of jealousy. I realise he is probably only joking but in all honesty, he never got me an xmas present anyway, he still owes me money and not to mention him getting my hopes up about going to Thorpe Park together. Which I now know will never happen. I didn't think it would anyway but I wish he wouldn't say things like that and get my hopes up for no reason. Never mind eh. Personally, I don't think he should get anymore presents until the situation changes, that seems fair doesn't it?! :)

I'm sure he can take his anger out on me in MGO tonight which should be good if we can get a few people online! Good times ahead but man this day is going slow.

Currently listening to: Maroon 5-Misery
"I am in misery, there ain't no body who can comfort me. Why won't you answer me? The silence is slowly killing me. Girl, you really got me bad, you really got me bad. And I'm gunna get you back, I'm gunna get you back."

Teh lurve

Apart from seeing Predators yesterday, my day was not that great. I'm not sure why to be honest but what matters is that has changed now. Last night I was talking to Bossman (as per usual) when JB popped online so I added him and Jen to the conversation. Jen was busy sewing so she left the conversation. Martyn also came online at one point but didn't really speak much as he was busy so this just left me, JB and Boss...until 3am. We stayed up all night talking and sharing particular things and having a laugh. Even at 3am I didn't really want to stop talking but I felt I should go to bed as my parents would probably kill me. Plus even though I slept in late I'm still feeling the effects! Because of that talk I'm feeling a lot better today. I'm not sure why, it's not like I got anything off my chest or anything, I guess I just feel closer to my friends.

Today I am very tired but looking forward to an inevitable phone conversation with Alex as he's sleeping in tonight and I usually end up keeping him company until he goes to sleep. Going to be another late one then...

Was going to go shopping today but that didn't happen so it's happening tomorrow instead. I probably don't need to spend anymore money though as I just brought some shoes with cat faces on from ebay and Bossman's birthday present. Well, his present is a work in progress! :)

Predators

Hurray! Today I have something to do with my life! Today my dad and I went to the cinema together on this fine orange wednesday to see Predators. As Alex had already seen this film and already told me it was good, I was pretty certain I was going to like it. My dad on the other hand had heard nothing about it, not read a review, not even seen a trailer, so everything was new for him. I did know a vague outline of the plot before seeing the film as a friend on Twitter had told me. So I knew exactly what was going on when my dad turned to me in the cinema to say "What the hell is going on?". I didn't tell him of course and although I will post no spoilers here (though there's not exactly a major plot to spoil) I'll sum out what the film is about.

Some of Earth's deadliest killers are dropped into an unknown jungle to be hunted by predators. That's basically it for the plot although they're are a couple of twists in it, which I will not spoil. Predators is almost a homage to the first film. It's mentioned a couple of times and there are a few references to it too. Again, it's set in the similar jungle scene and this time they're 8 characters ranging from a female sniper to a psychotic prisoner. Some characters are left pretty undeveloped but I guess that's always going to happen when you have such a large group of various soldiers and killers.

But for such a simple plot it is a good concept, the idea of human predators becoming the prey of the Predator species.

I feel any fan of the Alien/Predator series will enjoy this film. Trust me, it's not another Aliens VS Predator 2 balls up. This is one for the true fans so I strongly suggest re-watching at least the first Predator film before seeing this one!
Overall, I liked it, there were a few creepy scenes which was cool, a tiny bit of comedy and a twist at the end. Toss in a few gruesome deaths and you've got a pretty cool film right there.

*Deletes*

Last night I found it really hard to sleep. I was hot but if I took my covers off I was too cold so I couldn't really win. Also my stomach was playing up and I felt kind of sick. I resorted to texting Alex, who was still up watching IT Crowd, until I fell asleep.

I got up really late this morning as a nice lie in. I had my shower and came downstairs to find dad getting on the PS3 to look at some pictures of his camera. I told him he had a new message (he's not very good at those sorts of things). It was from a boy he used to know from somewhere he went to work. He used to work as a barman at one of the functions he worked at, he's since been fired or left so I guess this is why he felt he could leave this message:
"You deleted me then you fucking cunt".
Now really, my dad is 50 years old this year. Yes, he's a gamer but he never plays online as it doesn't interest him and he's (no offence dad) not very good against other players. So the whole having friends on the PSN means nothing to him. I'm his only friend. He's sent me a message on there once but he never read my message back to him (because he doesn't realise when he gets messages). So to see that message written to my dad really shocked me! My dad went to reply but the router hadn't been plugged in so he wasn't signed in. Probably a good thing as replying to that little piece of shit is worth no ones time. This same kid added me ages ago when he added me dad too. He got talking to my dad about COD MW2 and my dad told him I play it sometimes. He wanted a match with me so he added me. But I never got a message from him or anything and eventually he deleted me. Now I didn't send him a nasty message because, honestly? I don't care if you unfollow me on twitter, delete me on Facebook or the PSN or even block me on MSN. Unless you were a *really* close friend of course.

So I would never send a nasty message to anyone because I'm not that up my own arse about myself. I cannot count the number of times I've got messages of people I've refused to add or I've deleted off PSN/Facebook. One guy who complimented me on my Lara Croft costume on Facebook then tried to add me. I didn't add him because I didn't know him, fair enough right? Because I didn't add him he then sent me another message calling me a stuck up bitch because apparently I thought I was too good for him or something? I told him this was not the case, I just don't add people I don't know. I had to end up blocking him. Some people I will never understand. It saddens me that people think they can just insult whoever the hell they link via the internet. They'd never do it in real life. Cowards.

Asides from my little rant, nothing much has happened today. The day's gone uber fast (probably because I got up late) and I've spent it doing nothing except playing Scrabble with my sister when she got home from school. Much fun! On the plus side, the internet hasn't broken once today - fingers crossed!

Awesome weekend

This weekend my mum and dad decided to go away as my dad was working near Devon and my mum wanted to go with him. My sister and I spent our time watching Be Kind Rewind (which is hilarious!) and spongebob squarepants mostly. I cooked carbonara for dinner which ended up being a little bit too much like scramled eggs but it was still good. Sami had made cookies with pieces of mars bar in which made a good pudding.

The evening was spent sat on msn with Bossman chatting about our days as we watched American Dad and a program about really overweight people (yeah, there wasn't much else on) until 1.30am! Despite going to bed this late my sister still got up earlier than me!

We walked the dog again in the morning then sat watching more Spongebob and then some scrubs before I picked up my plastic guitar to play some more Band Hero. Earnt a few more trophies! The parents are now home and things are back to boring normal. Oh well it was fun while it lasted.

Now I'm sat eating homemade cookies and ice cream and wondering whether Paul the Octopus will be proven wrong...Either way, I couldn't care about who wins the world cup now!

Currently watching: The F1 highlights

Bummer

This morning I took the pleasure of sleeping in late. My dad came into the room to announce my new Dell battery was here! Which is exellent of them considering I only got an email last night confirming they would be sending me a new one, mental! Dell have earnt back their respect from me.

Today has been okay. A bit stressful with trying to plan things for Saturday but hopefully things should work out okay.

I'm more bummed out with my current internet arrangement. For some reason all this week the internet's been slow and it cuts off randomly, more so at peak time as it was fine late at night but it was a bitch around 7pm. Just when I wanted to play MGO. Bad times. Not sure what's causing it, I'm hoping it's repairs affecting it or something and that it will fix itself soon! Otherwise I'll be emailing AOL.

There's supposed to be some more MGO going on tonight but I'm not sure whether my internet will be up to handling it! I'll give it a go but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Other than that, not much to blog about. Bit fed up of this heat though, going to be mentally hot this weekend, no more, please!

Currently listening to: Hanna Pakarinen-Falling Again
"Another time, another place, I am lost and now I'm falling, I'm falling, again."

Smile

Today has been a good day. Last night I stayed up chatting with Jen and JB which was so funny. JB especially really made me laugh which cheered me up as I hadn't had that great a day. I don't know whether that's reflected on today or not but I do feel good today. I had a pretty weird and horrible dream actually. A combination of Alex, Moo and my new uni house but that didn't effect my mood, luckily. At 10am my dad came into my room with a cup of tea which was unusual but nice. I eventually got up, had a shower then the post came. My Totoro backpack (see pic) came today all the way from Hong Kong! Which is pretty amazing since it's only taken 2 or 3 days to get here! Funny that things from Hong Kong come so much quicker than things from America! Anyway I am very happy with him as he's adorable, I shall use him all the time! I am such a child aren't I? Ahh well, nevermind eh! My mates seem to like him so it's not all bad.

My nan and grandad came round today. My nan wanted to see the rabbit which she loved and it's always nice to see them both while I can. I haven't actually done much today (as usual) but it's just been good. I'm all "loved up" as Marnie would put it and excited about what's to come. It's so good to feel positive for once, I hope this lasts!

Currently listening to: Lady gaga-Alejandro
"You know that I love you boy, hot like Mexico, rejoice. At this point I've gotta choose, nothing to lose."

Going out fail.

Well as you all probably know now, Marnie fucks up every time we want to go out. To be fair to her, she does always plan everything but there's no point in planning something when you fuck it up. Almost every time. As Alice said, doing anything with Marnie is hard for no reason. The night started off with a text at 6pm from marnie saying she didn't know when Yaz was going to get here and that she needed to eat so she would give me a text of when to come round. This was after a phone call I had much earlier saying to come round at 7. How could things mess up an hour before? So I waited, for way over an hour and I thought this is getting silly so I sent a text saying: Are we going to the pub or not? I got a reply saying: Yeah Yaz is here now. Yeah we'll go to a couple of pubs and see how we feel init. And yes, she did say "Init". So after trying desperatly to get Alice to come with me (she wouldn't because of money issues and she couldn't be bothered) I left to go and meet Marnie at her house which is luckily just a couple of roads down from me.

So I turned up in jeans and a T-shirt, because we're going to a pub right? I talked to Marnie's mum for a bit because she's always nice and friendly and asks about how my family is been and how Uni is going. Then I went upstairs to Marnie's room and guess what! They were both glammed up to the max. Like they were going clubbing. Marn saw how I was dressed and said "Oh are you just coming to the pub with us then? Coz I don't want you to go home by yourself". And I said "Well to be honest I thought that was all we were doing". An awkward conversation proceeded. Well I didn't feel awkward, I was annoyed but I could tell from Marnie's face she looked a bit embrassed and confused. She said that she told me we were going to Guildhall on saturday night. Saturday night we were all drunk, so how I would I remember that even if she had menstioned the Guildhall (which I'm 99% sure she didn't). Wouldn't it have been a good idea to remind me?! So I said I'd just go home after they'd left. Waste of my fucking time.

I spoke to Yaz a bit though about things. When Marn had left the room to go brush her teeth (why do people do that when they're still drinking?!) I told Yaz that she didn't tell me at all that we were going to the Guildhall. Yaz smiled and said "She probably didn't", I guess she knows what Marnie is like too. I text Alice about what had happened and Alice was just as mad as me. She obviously wasn't told that either. Yaz just laughed at the complete planning fail. I just couldn't wait to get home and have a cider by this point. When Marnie came back upstairs I said goodbye to them both, saying to Yaz we had to go out properly sometime, and left.

I spent my evening watching TV, drinking cider and eating a little bit of chocolate. I think I prefered to say in to be honest...

Currently listening to- Matchbox twenty- Unwell
"All day, staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on my wall. All night, hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep because tomorrow might be good for something. Hold on. Think I'm heading for a, breakdown and I don't know why."

Another girly night

Today after a nice lie in the parents and I went to Chicester for two things. One, my mum needed to pick up her ring, she'd had it repaired, it's look beautiful now. Two, my dad had ordered a dinosaur figure and it had come back in stock. Ahh the rock and roll lifestyle...
I also convinced my parents to buy an adorable Highland Cow door stop for the front room as we did need one and this one was so cute! My powers of persuasion win!
We had only an hour to look around and I tried on a dress that was in the sale but didn't like it unfortunately so I didn't buy anything.
We popped in on a pet shop on the way home to get things for the rabbit. My mum and I spent our time at looking all the cute furry things. They also have reptiles in there too now but they'd all been taken out of their tanks. I need to come back when they get some bearded dragons in as they do sell them!

Marnie rang again today to check I still wanted to come out tonight to the pub. I hope we're not going anywhere too far away as I don't want to have to pay out for another taxi really. The main reason I have agreed to go out is because Yaz is coming out! I rarely get to meet up with her so I take every chance I can get. Marnie wants to drink before we go out but I don't see the point, what's the point in pre-drinking before you go to a pub?! I know pubs are expensive these days but if we're drinking indoors why bother going out? I might bring round a cider with me but I haven't decided yet. I also hope we're just wearing casual clothes because I'm guessing that we are but you can never tell with my friends. Oh well it doesn't matter if I'm casual and they're dressed up because they'll just look over-dressed...or I'll look like the odd one out, either way doesn't matter, they usually all end up looking a lot better than me anyway! I felt so...un-female (I'm aware that isn't a word) the other night when Alice, Jo and Marn were all talking about make-up and fake eyelashes. It's not like I don't wear make-up but I couldn't give a crap about stuff like foundation, concealer, which mascara is the best, blah, blah. Especially as I could never put anything on my face as it would cover up my freckles and I'd look odd! Probably a good thing that I'm not caking my face in anything...right?

Ahh well I'll never understand but then they'll never understand me so that's fine! I still love them to pieces. Tonight should be fun!

Currently listening to: Dido-life for rent
"It's just a thought, only a thought. If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy. Well I deserve nothing more than I get, 'cause nothing I have is truly mine."

Jo's 19th

Before going out for this me and Alice had agreed to just go to the pub and not go clubbing because she was skint for money and I had a feeling things would go tits up as last year her birthday was a disaster. People wasted their money and got pissed off...it was bad times. I saw last night as going the same way because, much as I love Jo, she's on of those people who gets stressed over nothing then forces people to do what she wants. Even if it is your birthday that's kind of out of order. Anyway I had dinner early and got round to Alice's for quarter to 6-ish. Marnie said she'd meet us at 6 which I told Alice wouldn't happen and surprise, surprise! I was correct as usual. To be fair it wasn't actually Marnie's fault this time, Jo was having a "hair crisis" and then she had a fake eyelash crisis. I HATE fake eyelashes. Marnie was wearing some too, I just don't see the point! Yeah your eyes look nice but everyone knows they're fake and it's just more trouble than it's worth. Anyway, we didn't end up meeting Jo (who lives down Alice's road) until 8! She'd asked people on facebook to meet at 7 so she was kind of letting her guests down, if anyone else actually turned up.

The plus point about leaving with Jo though was that we got a lift to the Guildhall from her mum, free taxi is always made of win. We got to the pub, all had a drink or two each. Amy arrived and she brought her work collegue with her (who's 50!!!!) because this mate of hers had just been dumped by her boyfriend. No offence to the lady, as she was nice enough, she was one of those people who you just think are like "the scum of Portsmouth". She had teeth missing, she has three kids (one in each decade) and her ex-boyfriend sounded like an alcoholic. She was nice and friendly and funny but it was a bit odd being out with a 50 year old when we're all 19...

We were all pretty merry by a certain point (especially as Alice and I had a couple of pre-drinks) so everyone was very giggly and silly. Alice suggusted we stay out. I didn't have a key to mine (as stupidly I didn't think I'd need one) so she said I could crash round hers. I agreed as I was having a good time and we didn't go out until 2 hours later than what we thought so neither of us wanted to go home just yet. We were talking about me sleeping over at Alice's as we walked out of the pub. Unfortunatly one of the bouncers there caught the wrong line of the conversation. I said "It's okay I'll just be dirty tonight" (as I had nothing to sleep round Alice's with) and he of course had to respond to that which was really funny. He said something along the lines of "you can come and be dirty with me if you like!" which all made us laugh. Oopsy!

Before we moved onto Lloyd's bar Alice wanted to get some money out and I rang my mum (before I was too drunk) to tell her I'd be sleeping at Alice's because we wanted to stay out and I didn't want to come home late and wake her and dad up. She said that was fine but asked what I was going to do with my contacts. As of course I had contact lenses in and I can't leave them in while I sleep. She said to find a plastic container to put them in and I was sure that would be easy enough. So I said goodbye and we all continued to Lloyd's Bar.

The bouncers at the bar before we went in made the "who's mum is this?" joke about the older lady who was with us which was a little embarassing. Jo snapped "We're all just friends" which worried me a little as Jo has had problems with bouncers before and it's because she gets arsey at them...luckily the guy didn't seem to notice and we got in fine. Alice and I had Jaegerbombs as it was two for a fiver so she brought the first two and I brought the second two later on. We downed them (which she was better at than me!) and then joined the others of the dance floor. It was mostly chart stuff but remixed. It wasn't too bad. A remixed version of Lady Gaga's Telephone and Alejandro came on so I was happy! We danced ourselves into a sweat. Even Amy's older friend was dancing with us. But we go too hot as one point and walked outside to cool down for a bit.

Alice and Marnie were talking (Alice was banging on about Sean yet again), I was sat next to Marnie not being involved in anyones conversation. Jo was standing up next to the drain I was sitting over, talking to a guy I didn't know. I was sat their, pretty bored but glad to be cooling down and giving myself a rest, when Jo dropped her phone. It went straight down the drain...fail. It was hilarious at the time because 1) It was a pretty retarded thing to do 2) it went straight down the gap 3) everyone was attempting to lift the drain cover off saying "Oh sometimes they just lift off". Everyone eventually accepted the fact nothing could be done about the said phone and so we left it and went back in.

Jo's older sister and her mate had also now joined us in the bar but Amy and her friend had rudely disappeared! From what I said to Jo, she reckons they went off to a pub together. I thought that was really rude of Amy to just go off like that without saying anything to anyone! Ignoring that fact we got more drinks. Me and Alice sat down for a bit as our feet killed, espeically hers, my shoes were behaving well actually. After we sat for a bit we joined the others on the dancefloor. According to Jo's sister's mate, Jo was only just starting to freak out about losing her phone. Great. Something for her to get stressed about we thought! I cannot recall the number of times Jo's lost or broken a phone. I'm serious. I have never ever lost or broken anything really. I've hardly gone through any mobiles. I honestly don't understand how people do it! It's so stupid and it annoys the hell out of me. Anyway we thought we'd just be careful with Jo and went to dance. The music had now just turned to plain chart stuff (no remixes) and then it eventually went from that to proper club and dance music. It wasn't bad for somewhere that's free entry! Me, Alice and Marnie danced out socks off. We even saw Karl there and I had the urge to go and hug him but the sober part of my brain thought he might think I was a bit weird so I didn't. He danced with us a bit though.

We'd all got to the stage where our dancing was mental, especially me and Marnie dancing together! We were having so much fun even if we were getting tired. I practically got lap danced by Alice at one point because I sat down to take a rest while the two fo them were still going. Marnie then disappeared for a bit and came back saying Jo wanted to leave now. This pissed off Alice. I didn't really mind as I was pretty tired myself but it was a bit annoying how people were getting ordered around. We went outside where Jo was. Nina, whom I haven't seen since school, was there which was nice and they were all round the drain again where her phone had gone down. Alice and I almost pissed ourselves laughing when a girl was saying to Jo "Even if it's broken it will still ring". Erm no dumbass, even a phone is broken or it's not, simple! If it rings (which it did) then it works! Nina was trying to ring up 3 at midnight to cancel Jo's contract which was also stupid. You can't help but laugh at these things. Then Alice was talking about Uni and Sean yet again and I told her something about myself which shocked her. Don't you just love doing that? Then Alice heard Katy Perry's new song was playing and wanted to go back in just for that one song. So I went in with her and we danced to that then came back out.

When we came out Jo and Nina (who'd been the people sat by the drain) had had water chucked at them from a window above which wasn't nice. This of course was the last straw for Jo who now wanted to go home because (as she said to Marnie) she was "fed up and bored" which of course Marnie and Alice took in offence. Jo went home in a taxi with Nina but us three stayed out as we were hungry and wanted to get something to eat before we headed back. Marnie and Alice were moaning a lot about what had happened. I actually wasn't that bothered for once. It hadn't really affected my night, it had still been so much fun even though there was a teeny bit of stress. Alice and I got some chips to share and Marnie got a subway before we got a taxi home.

Marnie went back to her own house and I crashed at Alice's. It was 2am and we talked until 5am about various things. It was nice as I felt I could be more open with Alice than I had been before although she did talk about herself a little too much. We tried to go to sleep at 5am which was horrible as it was REALLY light by then. Alice went to sleep pretty easily but I was sniffing because of my hayfever and it didn't help Alice had a cat (which I am slightly allergic to) so my nose was running the entire time. It was horrible. When I woke up at 8 I was surprised that I'd fallen asleep at all! Alice had woken up at the same time as me and I decided to head off because I though tmy parents would be going to carboot and I didn't want to miss them. So I walked home, my heels in one hand, a plastic box with my contact lenses in in another, still in my dress, my hair a mess ( though Alice was insistant that I looked fine) and because I didn't have my glasses, I couldn't see two feet infront of me. Probably best that I couldn't see the odd looks that people were probably giving me!

I'm so knackered. I will definitly sleep well tonight! I think I've gone for long enough now.