Oh mai head :/

I sat here and listening to System of a Downs "Hypnotise", I first heard this song when I got off the train, coming back to Portsmouth a few weeks ago. And ever since I heard it, I always thought there was something beautifully romantic in the lyrics "I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my girl." I don't why but that line has made me love that song. Odd what certain words can do to you.

I haven't done much again today. I woke up at 12. Eugh. Even though I went to bed at 12, I certainly haven't slept for 12 hours. I can't get to sleep at night, for at least an hour, every single bloody night. I thought I was just stressed, maybe I still am? Worrying about Uni secretly or something. I am rather worried about it, of course everyone tells you you'll be fine, I know I will be, it's just life is getting seriously complicated and I can't be bothered to prepare myself for it. I know that sounds odd and I don't completly understand it myself. I seriously need to go shopping soon to buy things for uni :/. Meh, I won't worry about it for now, what happens will happen and there are thousands of people in the same boat as me and living on my own will be nice, I hope.

Tomorrow I am meant to be going round Alices' to see Bex and Alice before we all depart our seperate ways. Though Bex will be in London, living with a Christian family, so hopefully she can travel to see me when she's free or vice versa. We shall see. Alice doesn't leave for Reading Uni until the 27th! Lucky bitch! I leave 10 days before her :(. I also realised, if I'm moving in on the 17th and my course starts on the 21st. Freshers week? More like Freshers weekend :(. Mind you, it may be a good thing, I don't exactly want an extra week without my loan money or sat around, during the day, bored out of my brain. That's another thing that worries me, I'll be lonely and bored most of the time. My parents are insistant that I won't be but as neither of them have been to Uni, frankly they have no opinion in this matter. This is why I hope my dad will let me take a games console of some kind with me...I also hope I can get a job to fill up some of my time, although, all this news on the TV about a lack of jobs, etc does rather worry me. What if I can't get a job for months? My loan hardly covers me for my living costs (after £100 rent every week it leaves me about £25 for food, or so my mum says and she's better at maths than me so...). Bah, how am I even going to afford going out clubbing/partying? I'll just have a....erm...tap water please :(.

Well, let's not talk about money anymore, I hate it and it ruins lives so shhhh. What do I talk about then? Hmm, I'm so bored and hungry, dinner soon I suppose when dad gets back from whatever he's doing. Will be good to catch up with Alice and Bex, my two closest friends. Marn text me to say she wants to see all of us before we go to Uni too. She's at college now so she can't come tomorrow. Eugh. I really can't be bothered to make an effort with her. It sounds really nasty but I guess I just get annoyed with her alot and therefore I find myself not liking her an awful lot. I think I've been around her too much of late, on holiday, she was the cause of all the stress and I know most of the time that wasn't her fault, but she did it at Brighton too and even Alice got fed up of her. Marnie always tries to make people do what she wants to do and if we say no, she says she'll do it anyway, and then we feel bad, typical eh? Oh well. I told her I was free pretty much anytime, I'll let her sort something out. My head hurts and I really can't be bothered at the moment. Oh, and interestingly enough, Marnie found out it was the pill she was on that made her ill on holiday. When she told me I was so annoyed I hadn't thought of that myself! Facepalm. Funny how these things are so obvious yet you never consider them at the time! D'oh. Oh well, she's changed it now so all is well.

Still got a bit of a cold, day 11 of it! It keeps me up some nights, with the coughing and such but it's more of an annoyance now rather than a full-blown illness. It will go soon. My parents, of course, used this to have a go at me for not eating enough healthy stuff, blah, blah, blah. Considering I'm hardly ever ill, I think I've done pretty damn well thanks very much -_-.

Currently listening to: Linkin park- Somewhere I belong
"I heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real..."