Pic to illustrate how pretty my friends are! Marnie, Bex and Alice (with me on the end!)Was quite glad to get out of the house today. Alice invited me down the beach, she said her and Jess were on their way round. So, of course, I assumed they were calling for me, so I got ready quickly, waited...waited some more...where the fuck were they? So I text Alice "Hurry up! :P" and she then told me that her and Jess were already down the beach! You could have let me know guys! I was annoyed, pissed off even, I was tempted not to even go but I knew I was just being stupid, so I left and walked there by myself. I finally got there and found them, so we three just ended up lying in the sun, talking about various things and people. I felt very chilled out for once and was glad I had decided to go.
Later in the day, Elliot turned up but I don't really talk to him, he just ended up talking to Jess the whole time. Marnie then turned up and we decided, along with Alice to go buy some chips down the road. But the godamn fish and chip shop was closed! Typical. So we decided to buy some sandwiches in the local Spar instead, which tasted discusting, but oh well, no matter, we returned to the beach. All was going well until for some reason, Marnie started talking about Megan Fox, bit random but basically saying that she was pretty, Alice agreed. I disagreed. I just said I thought she was just a slut and not really that pretty. But Alice persisted that she was pretty and said she was jealous of her. No point of being jealous though. You're never going to look like her so what's the point. So I merely made the comment that I was happy with the way I am, which I am! Alice gave Marnie a really funny look and said in an odd way "Well good for you!" as if I'd said something wrong! Well I am sorry for not loathing myself. I didn't know we all had to hate ourselves! So I added, "You guys should be too! There's nothing wrong with either of you!" Alice muttered "I could give you and long list" Marnie laughed and agreed. It's utter bullshit I tell you! They're both SO pretty! Marnie has a boyfriend who's she's been out with for over 5 years! So why the fuck doesn't she have any self-confidence! She has someone who loves her just the way she is and blokes always look at her when she goes out. If I go out and someone even glances at me, that's a massive achievement for me but it doesn't get me down! What's the point! And Alice, she's tall, has a flat stomach, lovely long skinny legs. What the fuck does she have to complain about? Sigh. This is why I hate females sometimes, they always complain about the way they look and then when you say you're happy with yourself, you get looked at like some sort of freak! I used to absolutly hate the way I look, but I saw the light, learned to love myself and I'm so glad I have. I don't think I'm beautiful or anything, I just think I'm okay. Attractive enough. Not to everyone but no one's going to be attractive to everyone! You can't measure beauty. It's a mere opinion.
So I thought it was best to leave before I got annoyed. If Bex was there she would have backed me up. We are always saying how silly Marnie and Alice are because we both agree they're beautiful and we can't believe they don't see it themselves. I had to go home for dinner anyways, so I said my goodbyes and walked home.
I told my parents how annoyed I was at my friends for being so ridiculous. I can't remember how we even got to this point in the conversation but basically my mum said how I've been impossible to talk to recently because I bite peoples heads off. I don't. I've been annoyed recently it's true. I blame hormones mixed with stress. But I never snap at my friends, so it's obviously something my parents do to annoy me. They couldn't understand what I've got to be stressed about, as if I shouldn't have a care in the world or something. Hardy fucking ha! I said I AM stressed because usually I am one of those people who is super chilled out (I was today at the beach for the best part of the day!) and when I was asked what I was stressed about I couldn't tell them. This was for two reasons, one: They must not know and most importantly, two: they wouldn't understand. They really wouldn't. Infact they'd be angry with me, probably. So it's best they never know, I used to be so open with my parents but there's so many things they don't know about me now, it's crazy. I basically had a mini arguement with my parents. I really hate them sometimes. They never take me seriously, especially my dad, he thinks everything is a fucking joke. And there's nothing worse than people not taking you seriously, I hate it, it drives me insane. And the fact they think I have nothing to be stressed out? That's a joke in itself, if only they knew. And also, since I talk to my mum alot about the things I worry about e.g uni and money, she should fucking know I'm stressed out! But no, apparently she doesn't listen. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of them. I NEED to move out this year, before my relationship with them deteriates any further. I'm just feeling a lack of people care about me at the minute.
I know I sound like I moaning bitch and I'm sorry, I really am. I hope I'm not pissing people off, I do worry constantly that I annoy people or moan too much or whatever. It really worrys me. Although, my friend Bex has described me twice as: "Really annoying, because she's one of those people who you can never hate. She never does anything wrong!" Personally, I think that's a lie, I think I must piss people off a lot but still, it's very sweet of her to say so. Bex is my only true friend (nearby) at the moment. She's my rock and I'm her hard place, so she says :)
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