...

It's funny, I foolishly thought once my exams were over, it would feel like a huge weight had been lifted off my sholders. But I don't feel like that at all. No surprise really when multiple things are stressing me out, not just exams.
But what can I do? I have no control, it's not up to me. I'm such a sucker, why do I always let my heart win? I always let someone else be in control. And yes, I complain and technically I could decide for myself and run away from it all but physically I can't. I'm in way over my head, in way too deep, I'm drowning and I don't even want to save myself. What's the point after all, nothing better would come from it.
It's differcult, empathising with people. You try to understand, try to see what their motives are but as soon as they go and do something stupid, all sypathy for them just disappears and you're just left with anger. So I don't know what to think anymore, I think I'll just stop thinking, it's hurting my head too much.
I'm sorry reader, I'm being so damn cryptic. I wish I had the guts to spill my guts, to say everything I've ever felt. But I can't. Because I'm an idiot. A stupid puppet, I let myself get strung up and messed around with. And I don't know what else to say. I just wish things weren't so complicated. They've been this way for too long and I don't know how much more I can take.
I spend most of my time worrying about other people, I know I shouldn't but I do and I feel so godamn useless when I can't help. If I could do something for you, anything, name it and I'd do it for you. But I bet you couldn't, because at the end of the day, people need to help themselves. Unfortunatly there's no magic spell to take away problems, you have to solve them and waiting doesn't make them go away either. So please, help yourself because I know I can't help you.