Fuck it

"I deserve nothing more than I get, 'cause nothing I have is truly mine."

That's pretty much how I feel right now. I don't know how Dido got into my head but when I thought of that one line I suddenly felt like crying. It depicted something I am feeling right now, something I've felt for a long time. But as with all problem, we repress them in foolish hope that they'll just magically go away or sort themselves out.

As you can tell, I'm not in a good mood. I would say it's due to me getting 4 hours sleep after playing Resi 5 until 4am with Lewis (again) but I know it's not that. I've been let down again. Okay, not completely and maybe I'm just being a spoilt bitch about this but for once, just for once, I would like something to be perfect. I'm not sure why this always happens maybe it's karma or just plain bad luck but things rarely go to plan. That's probably an exaggeration because I'm in a bad mood but hey. I've got to a point where I am fed up of just about everything. I can't be bothered with work or going out or anything. I was talking to Ellie about it earlier, I think we are both a bit homesick and she is missing her boyfriend a lot. We've come to the realisation that we're here to do work and the work, at the moment, is just too much. Sounds stupid I know but it seems to have hit everyone hard. At least it's not just me...

I've just come back from uni. I had something to print. There was one computer free, no one was logged in but as I sat down someone on the other side of the table said he was using it. For fucks sake, I wanted to print out one fucking sheet of work! I probably should have asked him if I could have borrowed it (even though it isn't his if he's not fucking logged in!) but I was so fed up I thought fuck it and walked home. If I had powers like Cole from Infamous, those computers would have been blown up then and there. So angry at the moment. Angry at someone I really don't want to be angry at. I keep telling myself it's not their fault but another part of me wishes they'd try harder for once, for me. I guess I ask too much.

I need to have a shower now, something I also can't be bothered to do. Then some creative writing work. I don't think I can go to Jon's birthday party thing tonight. I feel like killing someone and I'm very tired. Might just have an early night and hope that Thursday goes quick tomorrow. Which it won't. I have a presentation tomorrow and it's going to suck massive balls because my feature idea is shit. I can't wait to be ripped apart with criticism.

Currently listening to: Robbie Willaims- Deceptacon
"She said, well he's never been quite right and I know, we'll be stepping on eggshells tonight."
"I love you but I don't like you right now, is all she had to say."