Happiness/sadness

I don't know why we can never be purely happy. Well I never seem to be anyway. Sure, 90% of the time I'm happy and cheerful and not at all upset or sad but I guess that's because I push problems to the back of my head. When these worries finally come out, it can almost ruin a day of happiness. I guess I just worry if, ultimatly, I'm going to be chosen and whether all this investment of feeling is going to be worth it.

It's odd. I'm not sure why I feel like this. It seems to come and go every so often, this feeling. I guess I'm worried. And also, I'm going home soon, which makes me very happy but at the same time it makes me realise I'm going to miss people a lot over xmas. Hopefully Jen's thingy in January will be good and I'll get to see the minion again, which always cheers me up. It sounds like everyone is going to be able to make it, which makes me happy.

I have an exam today and I'm not in the mood for it. It's worth 35% of our overall mark which is just a little bit scary. It should be easy. We have about an hour to write a news story and half an hour to do some editing (or subbing as it's called in the industry). But still, it is scaring me ever so slightly. I suppose I had best leave my blog at this and go and get ready. I need to be in lesson before 1 because he's starting the exam then and I don't want to be behind.

Currently listening to: Evanescence- Good enough
"It's been such a long time coming but I feel good. But I'm still waiting for the rain, to fall, pouring life down on me. 'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good. Am I good enough, for you to love me too?"