Reflection

Today was another long and hard day (no jokes, please!) except this time I actually had a lunch break so I wasn't keeling over by the time it was 5! Yay! The first lecture at 9am I got mentioned for my idea of finding a story at a gaming convention, I really hope I can find something to write about on Saturday or I am pretty much screwed unless anyone has some smart ideas. But at the same time I want to enjoy myself at MCM and not constantly have my Journalism hat on and vice versa I suppose. I hate this assignment with a passion, we are being told not to worry about it but how can I not?! The pressure...and I have a lack of original ideas...

When I did have lunch I went home to make it for myself, buying expensive sandwiches or subway is a big no no and waste of money for me. Plus I'd rather be in the comfort of my own room. I spoke to Iain and Jen on MSN and scarily realised, as did they before I mentioned it, that the 24th seems to be minion day! As I recall, except for the very first meet up, we have always seemed to have met up on the 24th! Accident or fate, I'm not sure but it sure as hell is creepy, though rather frickin' awesome at the same time. I really cannot wait until Saturday. Moo and Alex are coming to mine in Alex's car and parking here for the day (must sort out a permit tomorrow to save time on the day if I can). Then we are heading to Kingston station and are half an hour away from London Waterloo! It's a sort time together but I'm sure it will be a laugh, not like the first time I travelled to London, alone, scared about meeting 6 men in London I hardly knew. I still wonder to this day why my parents thought it was okay for me to go but of course I am so glad they are so free with me and allow me to do, pretty much, what I desire without very little question.

But yes, only just turning 18 and then meeting 6 men...my friends kept going on about how I was going to get gang raped and murdered or something! I never believed that for a second, I had complete trust in my friends, otherwise why would I go? And I had the added reassurance of the fact I had already met Alex a couple of months before when he came down to see his friend Rob in Portsmouth. Funny that my parents let a 17 year old girl go and meet a man off the Internet alone too, in fact my mum and dad DROVE me to near where I was meeting him! I guess it was in a public place so they new it was safe but I was so nervous at the time for some strange reason. Even my mum told me not to be nervous and it was all fine. To some people I must have really odd parents! Or really cool ones, or irresponsible...nevertheless I could not ever thank them enough for letting me meet the minions, they changed my life. In fact I felt last year, the year I turned 18, to be the best year of my life. So much had changed for the better. I'd changed, grown so much more confident in myself. I loved myself for once in my life. I met some of the most amazing people I've ever met (and yes, I realise I'm getting stupidly soppy now) and for the first time I had real gaming friends. Something that was never held in common with my friends at home, at least, not in a serious "hardcore gamer" way as Adam used to call me and probably still does call me.

But this year? Well I've had some bad points to it, one very disappointing revelation in particular but 99% of it has been amazing. Martyn's was probably one of the best weekends I will ever have though I did have a couple more excellent ones this year. This year tops off everything I could want from a year. I worked hard at college, very hard to get what I wanted and it payed off. It really, really did. I showed myself that I am an intelligent person who is capable of what I want to achieve, even though I often don't feel like. In fact a lot of the time I feel very stupid in comparison to others but none the less I have done well for myself and that's all that matters. People were very supportive, had faith in me and were proud when I did so well to get into such a competitive and high-ranking course. It may not be Cambridge, but who really would want to go there anyway eh? :)

And now I'm at the place I wanted to be at, I absolutely love it. I love Kingston, I would be happy to live here for a long time or at least in this area. I've made some great friends who have similar interests as me which is nice because I can't always play with the minions or people from the OPM group, especially as I now have no PS3 until xmas. The good news is Matt brought a LAN adaptor for the Wii and it works online!!!!!! Great news for when he brings up his PS3 (and HD TV, we hope) because Resi 5 online with dear Chris, I mean Alex (hehe) who is missing my 1337 skills and of course MGO. But I hear no one plays anymore and often poor Martyn has to play by himself (business as usual there then? ;)).

Well this blog has been a bit of a long rant about how great my life is, ha! I still have worries, hopes and fears of course but things are getting better. I'm feeling better about the future, maybe because I'm now ignoring certain things which should be addressed but never really will, let's be honest but all I can do is go with the flow and accept most things are out of my control. It's difficult for us Scorpios, we like control over our own lives (well who doesn't). Anyway I will finish now and stop boring you all.