Uni, Uni, Uni!

Last night I seemed to get to sleep okay which makes a change but I woke up this morning feeling like my head was going to split in two. Took some painkillers as soon as I got downstairs and had breakfast. Was up at 10 because I was going round my friends at 12. I spoke to Holly last night on MSN about Uni stuff, needed to know what to take for my kitchen and things, she was very lovely and helpful about it. So I spoke to my mum about Uni stuff, what I needed to get and she made a few lists on stuff I needed to get/take. I then went off to Alices'.

Of course, I was the first to arrive, luckily the painkillers had kicked in and I felt a lot better than this morning. We spoke together about a few things for 45 minutes until Bex arrived. Soon after Bex arrived Marnie arrived, turned out she'd read her college timetable wrong so she had the afternoon off! So we spoke and laughed about various things. Of course, the main subject was Uni, I am leaving the nest first, Alice is leaving last. Marnie isn't going at all of course, and is very jealous that we're all leaving Portsmouth. She also took offence to the fact Bex said she wanted "independance" when Marnie mentioned meeting up 2 months after we've settled into Uni. To be fair, Bex will be very busy with her charity work and I doubt me and Alice will have the money to arrange these things. I mean, I'll probably be up for meeting up but not if it's going to cost loads of money and I can understand what Bex means, she wants to make new friends and get used to get her own life as it were. 2 months may be a bit soon. We'll be back for Christmas which is in 3 months, so why she can't wait until then I don't know. Mind you, I do feel sorry for Marnie, it must be horrible for your friends to go away and leave you but that's life I'm afraid. Everyone goes their seperate ways eventually...

Alex phoned while I was still round Alices', he was asking if I thought it was okay for Holly to come to Game on. I said Iain had already mentioned it to me and I'm happy with it, she seems really nice and I would quite like to meet her anyway. Bex really wanted to speak to Alex (don't ask me why I don't know) so she had a random conversation about skateboards (it would make sense if you were listening to the previous conversation) so I let her speak to him on the phone for a bit before he had to rush off somewhere. Funny times, Bex is so random sometimes! Bex then left because she had to go out with Lauren so we said our goodbyes to her. Me and Marnie left soon afterwards, I had to get home and Alice had to get ready for work. Marnie is trying to arrange something for friday night (my last friday night here), so I suppose I'll have to go. I don't feel up to it at the moment but maybe I will on friday.

I had to get home because my nan and grandad were coming round. They were bringing spare kitchen things round for me and it was their last chance to see me before I go because they're going to Blackpool next week. They brought me loads of useful stuff including a really cool skull mug which came all the way from Disney land from years ago! It's awesome I love it. They also gave me £32 to help me on my way. Win! I need as much money as I can scrape at the moment. They're so sweet, was really nice of them, I said my thanks, spoke to them a bit about the uni/place I was going to before they had to go. My nans 85th birthday today too!

Dad is trying to offer me loads of things to take to Uni, things like speakers! I said I didn't need them, my laptop has speakers! And he was saying how I might get better sound, for goodness sake! I don't mind him offering me stuff but I've got to take so much already, I don't have space for stuff I don't need! He rolled his eyes at me when I rejected them. For fucks sake. Parents really don't understand, do they?

Oh mai head :/

I sat here and listening to System of a Downs "Hypnotise", I first heard this song when I got off the train, coming back to Portsmouth a few weeks ago. And ever since I heard it, I always thought there was something beautifully romantic in the lyrics "I'm just sitting in my car and waiting for my girl." I don't why but that line has made me love that song. Odd what certain words can do to you.

I haven't done much again today. I woke up at 12. Eugh. Even though I went to bed at 12, I certainly haven't slept for 12 hours. I can't get to sleep at night, for at least an hour, every single bloody night. I thought I was just stressed, maybe I still am? Worrying about Uni secretly or something. I am rather worried about it, of course everyone tells you you'll be fine, I know I will be, it's just life is getting seriously complicated and I can't be bothered to prepare myself for it. I know that sounds odd and I don't completly understand it myself. I seriously need to go shopping soon to buy things for uni :/. Meh, I won't worry about it for now, what happens will happen and there are thousands of people in the same boat as me and living on my own will be nice, I hope.

Tomorrow I am meant to be going round Alices' to see Bex and Alice before we all depart our seperate ways. Though Bex will be in London, living with a Christian family, so hopefully she can travel to see me when she's free or vice versa. We shall see. Alice doesn't leave for Reading Uni until the 27th! Lucky bitch! I leave 10 days before her :(. I also realised, if I'm moving in on the 17th and my course starts on the 21st. Freshers week? More like Freshers weekend :(. Mind you, it may be a good thing, I don't exactly want an extra week without my loan money or sat around, during the day, bored out of my brain. That's another thing that worries me, I'll be lonely and bored most of the time. My parents are insistant that I won't be but as neither of them have been to Uni, frankly they have no opinion in this matter. This is why I hope my dad will let me take a games console of some kind with me...I also hope I can get a job to fill up some of my time, although, all this news on the TV about a lack of jobs, etc does rather worry me. What if I can't get a job for months? My loan hardly covers me for my living costs (after £100 rent every week it leaves me about £25 for food, or so my mum says and she's better at maths than me so...). Bah, how am I even going to afford going out clubbing/partying? I'll just have a....erm...tap water please :(.

Well, let's not talk about money anymore, I hate it and it ruins lives so shhhh. What do I talk about then? Hmm, I'm so bored and hungry, dinner soon I suppose when dad gets back from whatever he's doing. Will be good to catch up with Alice and Bex, my two closest friends. Marn text me to say she wants to see all of us before we go to Uni too. She's at college now so she can't come tomorrow. Eugh. I really can't be bothered to make an effort with her. It sounds really nasty but I guess I just get annoyed with her alot and therefore I find myself not liking her an awful lot. I think I've been around her too much of late, on holiday, she was the cause of all the stress and I know most of the time that wasn't her fault, but she did it at Brighton too and even Alice got fed up of her. Marnie always tries to make people do what she wants to do and if we say no, she says she'll do it anyway, and then we feel bad, typical eh? Oh well. I told her I was free pretty much anytime, I'll let her sort something out. My head hurts and I really can't be bothered at the moment. Oh, and interestingly enough, Marnie found out it was the pill she was on that made her ill on holiday. When she told me I was so annoyed I hadn't thought of that myself! Facepalm. Funny how these things are so obvious yet you never consider them at the time! D'oh. Oh well, she's changed it now so all is well.

Still got a bit of a cold, day 11 of it! It keeps me up some nights, with the coughing and such but it's more of an annoyance now rather than a full-blown illness. It will go soon. My parents, of course, used this to have a go at me for not eating enough healthy stuff, blah, blah, blah. Considering I'm hardly ever ill, I think I've done pretty damn well thanks very much -_-.

Currently listening to: Linkin park- Somewhere I belong
"I heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real..."

Snaaaaaaaaaaaaake!

Last night I remember dreaming about playing little big planet with Rachet online...odd. Then I got a message from her when I booted up the PS3 later, it was a reply to something I'd sent her months ago, the reply was a smiley face. Bit pointless really Rach but cheers anyway! Bit of a weird coincidence though, no? Scary!

Played some more cats, then dad announced we were going to Gunwharf. Fine. So we went, had a sandwich, had an ice-cream, walked around with the dog. Good to get out I suppose. Came back, played some more crazy cats. I found one "story" revolving around MGS! I was like oh, my, God! It was amazing! The cats visit Konami studios and meet Snake! They get into barrels to sneak inside, they get guns, black cat shoots a robot, robot goes mental, snake (inside his barrel) rolls to the rescue and knocks down the robot! Hilarious! I then got a Ga-ko clock for my apartment (you can decorate the cats apartment with items you find, also got a mk 2 statue!). The cats then get to meet Kojima! Very strange and funny, I found out you could take pictures by pressing select, so I put some on facebook for laughs :D.

MGO was on later. Got 7 of us on, not bad, but a lot of people dropped out early. Matt seemed odd this evening, wasn't as chatty as usual and then left early, of course I don't know if it was just my imagination or not. Then John left in his usual speedy fashion and then Holly got a bit fed up of it all and left too. So it was just 4 of us, we had a couple more games then decided to call it a night at 8:30! Fail. Well, I mean it was still good, still funny, a particular highlight was when me and Stew were dead and moaning alllllll the time, ghost secks FTW. I loled. The ghost moans do sound rather creepy to be honest, and mine sound very sexual. Think I chose a good female voice, haha! I've heard one female voice where the woman character screams, and I mean screams, every time she gets killed! That would SO get on my nerves!!!! And when my character "sings", it's very operatic, I like it, hehe.

Phew!

MGO last night was a bit of a fail to be honest. Only 4 of us turned up but we started playing anyway, I was doing terrible, getting last place everytime, making silly mistakes. It started to piss me off and upset me. Then I realised, when I started doing better, it wasn't MGO that was upsetting me. I was crying whilst playing, that's how stupidly emotional I got. I don't know what it was, I think I was just uber stressed out about lots of things. I was worrying about Alex, and my cold has really been getting me down (I hadn't been out in the house in over a week). I decided once Martyn turned up, I'd leave the game because I really wasn't in the mood. Capt. Price (Chris McD) turned up so I said sorry and goodbye to the others and left. I sorted myself out, tryed to hold it together and go and watch Yes Man with the family. I'd seen it at the cinema, but the others hadn't seen it. Love that film, love Carrey, he's hilarious. So that kinda cheered me up a little. I got a lovely text from Stew, telling me not to worry, that Alex would be fine and that he was going to bed. No Pulp Fiction for us then :(. I was a little gutted but I guess I needed to go to bed a little earlier to make myself feel better. And it's no good if none of us are in the mood! So I watched Wossy and went to bed.

But could I sleep? Nope. I didn't feel that tired and I couldn't stop thinking, you know that feeling when you can't shut your brain off? Then I couldn't stop coughing (I have no idea whether I'd fallen asleep or been lying awake the entire time), I was coughing my lungs out, I needed a drink, I checked my phone, it was 1:30am, great. So I got up, went downstairs to get some ice cold water from the fridge, which did calm down the coughing alot. Soon after that, I eventually dropped off. I woke up at 9 this morning but I went back to sleep. I remember having dreams about Alex (do not know what they entailed, guess it was just the fact he'd been on my mind). I woke up again at 11 and decided to get up. This time I had a dream about me and Yaz, running through a supermarket with Alphabeats "Boyfriend" playing in the background (random!), we then danced and got cornered by some boys and had to run away and hide from them! Bizzare dreams!!!! And you know when you wake up with a random song stuck in your head that you haven't heard for ages (how does that happen?!), well I had that "discovery channel" song stuck in mine. You know, "you and me baby we ain't nothing but mammels"? How weird! I don't even LIKE that song :/. Maybe it's a clue as to what my dreams were about? Haha! I doubt that very much.

I was starving so I had some toast for brekkie. Bossman and also Alice, had recommended I tried ringing Alex ("It can't hurt to try") so I did so. It went straight to answerphone without ringing so I knew it was turned off, my thoughts were the battery had simply run out. And it turns out I was right, later on I got a text from him saying he'd been away and his phone had died on him. Phew! I was so relieved! I knew I was being silly and worrying way too much but I have a vivid imagination and that does terrible things to my mind! He also sent me a picture of his stitches, they do not look nice at all! Ouch...

Because I have not been allowed in the backroom these past few days during the day I played the force unleashed in the front room PS3. I needed to start a new save to activate trophies anyway. So I played that for most of the day, earned quite a few trophies, stopped for lunch, watched a South Park with my dad, hilarious as usual, then he sent me out to buy milk and chocolate. Me and my sis walked to the shop (first time I've been out in 8 days!), brought a chocolate bar for everyone and some cherry drops for my cough. Came back, ate chocolate, played more force unleashed, got stuck and fed up on one level so it was time to play some Toro! Todays episodes included "CSI or Cat scene Investigation"! (it amazes me how much appears in English!) in which something seemed to have happened in Toros' house (he was crying alot and his friends came to search for clues such as fingerprints!). Then there was one called something something PARK, turned out to be some sort of cat day-care centre of some kind! Pictures of real life cute kittys. Aww. Then there was TOKYO ICE BAR/HOTEL the two cats visited an ice hotel, they got very cold, I said to my sister "They should get themselves some fur coats!" and the screen went blue, then came back and they were indeed wearing coats! I was like OMG! Haha! Toro looked like santa and Kuro (the black cat) looked like an elf! So cute! God I love this game, dad thinks I'm a nutter but oh well hehe. I have a soft spot for cute, Japanese things. Going to Tokyo = my dream.

Spent the early part of the evening watching the X factor whilst on msn with Jake and Stewie, we were taking the piss out of all the hilarious people who come on, think they can sing, then epically fail. We were laughing so much! Makes x factor a whole lot more funnier with friends! STOP! IAN TIME! Haha! Love it. Feel a lot better now, phew :)

Worrying

I went to bed early last night, my eyes were acheing not only from the sleep dust making my left eye sore but from also being stupidly tired. I woke up this morning at 9am, still quite early for me but because I had gone to bed early it was justified I suppose. My left eye was crusted with sleep dust, I cleaned it up and it was still a little sore but now it's fine! The sleep dust/goo in it yesterday seemed to have washed itself out over-night thank God. My eye/s don't hurt anymore, always good as I want to stay up tonight with Stew to watch Pulp Fiction. Stewie has never seen Pulp fiction, amazing huh? So I'm making him stay up and watch it with me tonight, not literally of course, we'll be speaking over MSN. I hope he likes it after all of this :/ lol.

I worried about Alex. Okay I know this is going to sound mental and irrational but I text him yesterday, once very late the night before, asking for his opinion on something. He hadn't got back to me so I text him in the morning asking if he was feeling better (because he hit his head pretty damn hard the other day). No response all day. So I text him again about 8 in the evening, asking him to text me because I was worried. It seems silly to worry but this is the day after he's banged his head, anything could have happened. He didn't feel too good when he rung me the day after he hit his head (headache, feeling dizzy, that kind of thing) so it got me worried that something has happened to him. Of course, there are many logical explanations why he hasn't gotten back to me but what if he's in hospital right now and I don't know?! I know I'm being stupid, it's probably nothing. Sigh. Alex, if you're reading this please text me right now to let me know! I wonder, is he avoiding me for some reason? God knows why he would. If he chose not to text back any other time, it wouldn't bother me too much but because of recent events, I am worrying and can't get it off my mind at the moment. I am a woman, we worry too much :/.

I played the mental cat game again this morning, got another trophy and also figured out how to upload a video directly from the game to youtube! I somehow got my cat to walk down a cat-walk (ha ha) in a red top and grey pants (you can dress up your cat if you so wish to!) and it gave a youtube option! Epic win! The PS3 had remembered my youtube details from when I uploaded some trash panic videos from there once, it didn't take long to upload. Utterly brilliant. I loled when I made my cat say "o hai" when it got to the end of the catwalk! Guess work at what Japanese means ftw!

I also watched "Gonzo: The life and work of Hunter S. Thompson" this morning, I had recorded it a while ago and thought I'd finally get round to watching it. It was very interesting, I read "Fear and Loathing in las vegas" recently and loved the style in which he writes, so I became rather interested in the man behind the words. I wish I had a unique writing style, but I don't think I do, mind you, most writers think they're work isn't that great! That's me alright. They do say all artists are insecure about their own work, we're our own worst critics, e.g actors usually hate watching their own performances because all they do is critise themselves. Trust me, it's the same for writers. Although, I can hardly call myself a writer now can I? I haven't really written much, going to have to start doing that at Uni.

So I am sat here, bored because my father is occupying the backroom again so I can't play Resi. MGO tonight I hope. I'm so going to buy the Meryl earrings on the MGO store! W00t. So yeah, sat here, bored, worrying alot, someone put me out of misery.

Currently listening to: "Who am I?"- Will Young
"Who am I to tell you, that I would never let you down, that no one else could love you, half as much as I do now and who am I to say that, I'll always catch you when you fall. Well I, I wouldn't be myself at all."

Another night of shit sleep

Couldn't get to sleep last night, was too awake really, thinking of all the events of that evening. I did eventually sleep. I then woke up about 8am, rubbing my left eye alot, it felt sore for some reason, I worried that it had got infected again and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and it was blood-shot. No swelling, it wasn't infected but there was a LOT of sleep dust/gooey stuff around it, I wiped it off and washed my face but it still stung a little. It's now been sore all day, gooey stuff it still coming out of it, I don't know where it's all coming from! My cold, which has now been going strong for a week, is obviously affecting all my sinuses :(.
I tried to get back to sleep but I couldn't, so I went downstairs at 8:30am. I haven't been up that early for a while! But I really could not get back to sleep because of all the coughing. At some points I cough so damn hard I swear my lungs are going to come shooting out of mouth. It's starting to piss me off. Even so, I was still cheery this morning because everything had got all sorted out last night. The happy mood has kind of gone downhill though because I am so fucking tired, got dark patches under my eyes to show it, from the lack of sleep I got last night. So clearly, I'm not going out tonight for those two reasons.

This afternoon I decided to make a Japanese account to get the uber cool zebra background that everyone had been talking about. I can't read Japanese of course so to help me through the process I used a youtube video which was amazingly helpful to help me set up my account. Then I went onto the store, although everything was in Japanese I easily found the Africa theme. I then decided to look for Iains' crazy cat game, I realised I wasn't going to find it randomly looking through everything on the store so I found the Japanese equivilent of the A-Z section, but of course this was all in symbols. I knew the name of the cat in the game is Toro, so I chose a symbol that was near the end of the list, then more single symbols appeared. So, I looked up the name of the game in Japanese so I could look for the correct symbol and amazingly enough, I had guessed the right page to go to, the symbol I needed was on that page! And so I found Toro's game! Woohoo! Free crazy cat game FTW!

Me and my sister played this game earlier, you get to create your own cat yet Toro remains to be the main character. I chose a female ginger cat, she's very cute! I then worked out it asks you for your age and even blood type! Odd! I figured out how to dress up my cat, create my own t-shirt, play games, and loads more though sheer guesswork! Winrar! Loving this game, me and my sister were pissing ourselves laughing doing exactly what people did at M's, guessing what the cats were saying (because of course everything appears in symbol form!). It's a fantastic game! So happy it was free! Made my day to be honest because everything else has been rubbish :(. Stupid sleep goo is still getting in the way of my eye and because I've had to prod it with my finger all day to get the stuff out of it it's now very sore. Boo cats. Early night tonight I think. So tired :(.

Also, the dream I had this morning included me having perfect bright blue wavy hair and me wanting to show it off, partically to Alex. Weird eh?! Where the fuck did that come from? Blue hair...hmm :/

Trials and tribulations

Today I spent most of the day doing nothing. I watched daytime TV all day with my mum, how bizzarre! I would have been on the PS3 of course but father dearest was keeping the backroom to himself the entire day as usual! Got a phonecall from Alex "This is Jen right?" very fucking funny! He'd banged his head on a door frame and needed 5 stitches! Silly guy was bouncing up and down like Tigger and knocked himself out! Only he would do that! Bless him! He r special in teh head, hahaha! Well if he wasn't before, he is now!!!

Played some Resi 5 and was on Msn at the same time. Some crazy shit went down on there, I can't talk about it but it's all better now and everyone is stronger for it! Yay! It's made me so happy and positive about everything! Hope this feeling lasts :). Still coughing and sneezing away, d'oh! Played some Resi and got 2 silver trophies and one bronze! I now have every single treasure! I also have every single weapon too! And to earn the heart of Africa trophy I had to fire an RPG rocket at Wesker then shoot the rocket, creating a massive explosion, making the fight end quicker (under 7 minutes), thus also earning me the "bad blood" trophy. Epic win! I'm now farming treasures in the level with all the lickers in the corridor, it's really easy and a great way of getting loads of money fast so I can upgrade all my weapons, is still taking ages though but alot quicker that any other method :). I'll do it in the end! I am determined.

Dunno if I'm going to feel up for going out tomorrow night, might be best to stay in and save money anyway. Can't believe I'm going to uni on the 17th, I'm soooo not ready! Oh dear. Most unprepared woman in the world I am! Oh well, whatever I forget and need I'll buy at Kingston I suppose.