Grown-up

I haven't blogged in a while but was inspired to this evening. Us three girls, Ellie, Rachel and myself had a good old chat this evening, about, well everything! We discussed whether we wanted to be in this house next year as it is falling apart a bit and it's making some people feel down and stressed out, which I can understand. Also there's a fear that Lewis may or may not continue with his university course, which takes us back to the question of maybe living in a different house next year. We all talked about our relationships, our futures and plans. It sounds really stupid but that conversation actually made me feel like a mature adult. I'm starting to plan things, take control of my life and get serious about my relationship and what I want to do in the future. My work experience at Official Playstation Magazine made me realise that Journalism, specifically gaming Journalism is definitely what I want to do in the future. I finally have a goal, I still need to be more confident in myself as a writer but I am getting there.

Things are hard for all of us at the moment but at least we all have each other to keep us sane! Not sure how I would survive without my uni mates. Sometimes, I'm a lucky girl.

Cold

My moods can be somewhat...erratic at times but that past week has not been nice for me. Maybe it's because I hadn't seen Alex in what felt like a very long time but what I mainly felt it was down to is this current cold I am experiencing. It hasn't really kicked in until today and it's just made me feel like shit. I suffered with hayfever all summer and now it's winter I have to put up with more of the same. It's rather tiring to say the least. But hey, at least I am fairly easy to cheer up!

On another, less moany note, I am actually starting to enjoy poetry! I was horrified when I found out I was stuck doing it this year but though I'm still not very good at it, I'm rather enjoying it! Maybe it's because I can get my emotions out through something nice and short rather than writing a short story which takes forever and I'm not very committed to at the moment because of a lack of inspiration. You can view my poems here.

Bare in mind I haven't written many yet but I will be adding one a week :) So keep a look out if you're interested and any comments would be welcomed.

Something that has cheered me up greatly is having another review published in Official Playstation Magazine. This time it's a decent size! This has made me very happy indeed as I can officially say I'm a published writer and in such a high quality magazine! Really want to get myself a copy when it's in the shops just to have it to show off. Can't wait to show my parents either if they haven't already, they'll be proud!

HappyFace

This has been a good week. Mainly because yesterday was spent entirely with Alex. Unfortunately for me, it's not very often I get to have Alex for a whole day or more but for once he was free and I'd been looking forward to this in a while. He turned up around midday yesterday, earlier than expected but luckily I'd just finished doing my hair and finishing up my Journalism work. So, Alex suggested we head out to London. We had a great time wondering around, it took as an age to find Forbidden Planet but we got there in the end! We looked around a few shops and stopped for coffee. We didn't buy much but we were knackered so we headed home to get dressed up and go out for dinner.

I couldn't decide where I wanted to eat so Alex suggested Ha Ha Bar and Grill. I'd never been there so I was willing to try it plus it was right next to the Thames, a nice location and not too far to walk! Alex put on his suit then waited downstairs while I got dressed. I wore a black dress, tights and my fav leopard print heels. When I got downstairs the rest of my housemates were making dinner and complimented how me and Alex looked. Matt took a nice picture of us which was a nice thought as we have no pictures of us together. That may seem weird to some people but considering our situation, it's kind of difficult! Anyways I can't wait to see that picture. Then we said our goodbyes and headed off to Ha Ha. I was practically the same height as him in my heels! So we walked together down to the restaurant.

The food was lovely. Alex had lamb (which was when I tried lamb for the first time!) and I had chicken wrapped in ham. It was absolutely amazing. I had a cocktail and he had a beer. Then for pudding he had cheesecake and I had chocolate brownies, nom nom! We were going to go to the cinema afterwards as Alex wasn't in a drinking sort of mood but orange Wednesday meant it was very busy and we couldn't be bothered to queue and possibly miss the beginning of our film. So instead we went home and chilled out with the others.

Yesterday has made me realise how much I really want this whole thing to work out. I'm not going to go all squishy and romantic on you guys but I seriously hope good things are to come. My housemates have said they would be happy for Alex to come and live with us if things turn out good which is really nice of them. I think they just want me to be happy. This is why I love them so much! <3

Time to start working...

My few weeks of doing not much are coming to an end. I am truly quite worried about what my courses are going to be like this year as I know it's a huge jump from 1st to 2nd year. Be that as it may I have to do it and I'm sure I will be fine. I also have Friday and Saturday to look forward to, Eurogamer! On Friday I'm heading to Waterloo to meet Alex and then we are making our way to Earls Court where we will probably meet Rob (who I am looking forward to meeting!) and his friend. We won't see Rob most of the day as he is mainly going for the job fayre which is a shame but at least I get to spend time with Alex. Though I am going with him on the Friday I will still miss him not being there with the rest of the minions on Saturday. Oh well. Another time perhaps.

Alex told me he had started packing today for his new flat but he's not moving until November! Utter madness but at least he will be prepared I guess! Originally I was a bit gutted about him moving house with her. Hearing about him going on holiday with her was hard enough without him telling me that they were moving for six months after he came back. I'm getting over it now though, especially with the promise of things ending in a few months time (hopefully). I will still end things if they aren't sorted by July but every thing looks on the up now. Everyone cross their fingers for me :).

Enough about that rubbish though. I looked at my uni timetables recently and it now looks as if I don't have lessons on both Tuesdays AND Wednesdays! A lecture on Wednesdays has suddenly disappeared from my timetable! I'm not sure if it will come back or not but I don't seem to have many lessons at all this year! Guess I will be doing 90% of my work at home though so the pressure is on me to get stuff done! I am determined to be more organised this year and get stuff done as soon as possible. At least I can lock myself away in my room this year without the temptation of someone wanting to come round and play games! So hopefully, I'll get more work done.

Resident Evil Afterlife

I have always enjoyed the Resident Evil films and for me, this one was almost perfect, much better than the last film. The story follows on from the last, Alice is chasing Wesker to see what he is plotting whilst also trying to find other survivors of the infection. The story doesn't get much more complicated than that really. There are so many references to Resi 5 (the game) to keep fans like me happy, a couple of fight scenes were directly taken from the game! Loved it.

As for the 3D, this is possibly one of the best 3D films I've ever seen. Depth of field, like in Avatar or Toy Story 3 are fine but come on, the REAL point of 3D is to have stuff flying at you, otherwise you don't notice it! This film definitely had that, brain, blood and bullets flying at you is damn good fun. There's a lot of slow-mo moments too which are okay but a little too over-used.

The characters were pretty much spot on. This film introduced Chris Redfield into the host of survivors and surprisingly, Wentworth Miller is spot on as Chris. He's got the voice and attitude perfect. The costume designer could have done a better job but no matter, because Wesker's costume was amazing. It was exactly the same suit he wears in Resi 5. Brilliant. Not to mention the introduction of the mind controlling chest clasps that Jill wears in the game.

From the end there's definitely going to be a sequel, Milla Jovovich said herself this film was so successful they would make another (as her husband directs it and all). Personally, I can't wait. It's going to be amazing from the teaser after a part of the credits...

Hard

For some reason, I feel this year is going to be hard. Not just work wise (which is something I am genuinely worrying about too) but emotionally. Things are going to hopefully change. If they do, it's going to be hard but if they don't that will be even harder for me. I am looking forward to the prospect of change but I also fearing it.

A few nights ago, when I went to bed, a strange feeling of fear and sudden insecurity for NO REASON. I actually cannot explain why I felt like that. I just did. I guess my lack of confidence in myself will probably never go away completely, I can only try and keep it at bay, locked up tight. I have no reason to feel like this at all. I'm so confused. It's hard to understand myself at the moment. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do, except to keep it locked up and get on with things, it's my only option right now. Sigh :/

Although, at the pub the other night I realised something. As usual, I felt a bit insecure and un-superior to all the girls in the bathroom dressed up and looking amazing yet some how still complaining about their hair. But the second time I was in there I heard some girls talking about how they didn't want boyfriends because that was too much hassle. They were talking about their one night stands and I thought, how sad, no wonder women are treated like shit by some men, they bring it upon themselves, they only have themselves to blame. When I got back to the table with all my friends I told them about what I heard and Matt said something that actually made me feel a whole lot better. He said that "I don't want a boyfriend because it's too much hassle" actually translates to "I can't get a boyfriend because I'm a slag". It's harsh but very true. It made me realise that I shouldn't care if there are other better women out there, I have someone who truly loves me for who I am so why should I care what anybody else thinks? As long as I can keep thinking that to myself I know I'll be alright.

I like to PlayStation Move it

Well today was the release day of PlayStation move, something I was sceptical of at first until I saw it at E3. The 1:1 movement and arrange of exciting games coming out really impressed me. Luckily, my flat mate Matt was getting Move, otherwise I'd never have the chance to play it until Eurogamer and there's no way I'd be able to afford it either. At the moment we only have demos, Resi 5 and Heavy Rain to test our glowing ball wands out on. Heavy Rain is not patched until the 22nd I believe so we have to do without until then. Resi 5 with the move controllers was surprisingly good fun. Matt and I played some co-op with the controllers and it was brilliant, much better than expected as I had played Resi 4 before with the Wii controller and couldn't get on with it. Mainly because it wasn't precise enough for me which of course Move sorts out with it's 1:1 precision. It's pretty easy to get used to too, though this will be proven in the later, harder levels I suppose.

As for the demos we tried our favourite was Start the party. It's possibly one of the funnest party games I've played. There's a variety of mini games but the best one on the demo is where the Move controller turns into a paintbrush. If you wiggle the controller the tip of the paintbrush wobbles, great detail! Basically shapes appear onscreen and you must paint inside them to build an overall image at the end such as an alien that comes to life out of the shapes you've painted. It's a simple concept but so much fun. Best of all you only have to pass one controller around to play so you don't need to buy four. Sports Champions playing table tennis is also great, simply because the controller copies your smooth movements so well.

It's early days yet but I can't wait to see what else Move brings to the table.

Going back to Kingston

I am in a strange mixture of happiness and sadness at the moment. The happiness very much overrides the sadness for once which is good. I just worry about Alex as he is not in the best of mood recently as life is somewhat difficult for him. I have hopefully cheered him up by telling him I will come to Eurogamer on the friday with him. I'm actually really looking forward to that because I will get to meet his mate Rob who apparently already likes me so that's a win! Hopefully he will still like me by the time he actually meets me! So yes, I can't wait for that. Also my cookies have magically happiness powers it seems as he said they made him happy. Yay! It's hard for me wanting to help and frustrated because I can't physically be there.

This morning I spent packing for university and it's most all done now! Just a few things to finish off in the morning and I majorly need to go shopping too but that can all be done when we get there. Matt (and hopefully Rachel) are excited I'm moving in tomorrow which is nice, will be so good to see them as I've missed everyone over the summer so much! Though I'm not really looking forward to the work! Always the way. At least I will have loads of people nearby to comfort me if I get too stressed about work. I'm also going to go job hunting as soon as possible so I can stop worrying about money! Wish me luck :)

Go ape!

Yesterday I had the most amazing day with Alex. A while ago he suggested taking me to Go Ape instead of the original plan of Thorpe Park because I'd never done anything like Go Ape but had always wanted to. I set off for Guildford on the train with bright red hair which I hadn't told Alex about as I wanted to surprise him. I'd unfortunatly forgot the biscuits though! Which he teased me about all day. When I arrived I had to wait quite a while for him to get to the train station. I waited in the "usual spot" and dodging taxi drivers who really wanted to give me a lift! When he arrived he was rather...speechless. I'd really surprised him! This made me happy. He did like it though it took him a while to get used to. I was then called "redhead" all day.

When we got back to his we sat and played Kane and Lynch 2 which is just an utterly awful game. I knew it was going to be bad but the shoddy camera just made me feel sick! Especially when I ran anywhere! We could only play about three levels until we felt a bit too ill to continue. Alex has always quite liked the story though so I left the game with him for him to complete then give back to me. We then got some lunch (Bacon sandwich and a chocolate bar, nom nom) before heading off for Go Ape.

I was quite nervous about the whole thing I have to admit. As I'd never done anything like this before. They put us in harnesses then put us in a big group of people. Luckily, because there was only two of us we got to go first, putting us ahead of all the kids which would have drove us insane. I was reassured how Alex came across as a bit of a professional, so much so he was asked to demonstrate and go first on the first course (which is not very high off the ground at all). I followed him and as soon as we'd done it we were allowed to continue to the next course before the others. No waiting for the win! This one was of course much higher up and this was when I started to get more nervous! The problem is, you're pretty much up there by yourself so your own safety is in your own hands. You just have to make sure you're always attached to the tree and that you're doing it right. I was most worried about remebering what to do but once you've done it a few times it's so natural.

The first little bit to do up there really freaked me out. It's called the Tarzan swing and basically you swing into a net. It's really quite hard to have faith to jump of the edge of a tree and have faith you'll be safe! I did do it though (whilst screaming "Fuuuuccckkkk") which Alex found hilarious but even though he made fun of me during the day he was really supportive too which was nice. At the end of every course you have to zip line down to the bottom which again is very scary but the best feeling in the world when you do it! Plus Alex gave me some tips so I never landed on my bum! Smooth landing for the win. We were suggested to skip 3 and come back to it because there was a bit of a wait but we really wanted to do them in order so we decided we didn't mind waiting. It was a huge group in front of us but they all knew each other, they were all adults and they were all so nice! Especially the guy in front of us who was so chatty, funny and friendly, we ended up following them for the rest of the day. Alex and I also thought of funny things to shout as we swung across things and zip lined. We also spotted a man who looked just like Stan Lee! It was hilarious! Such good times. I actually think one of the best parts of the day was seeing Alex so happy. He was messing around on all the crossings, dancing and moonwalking across bridges, I could tell he hadn't had this much fun in a long, long time and it made me really happy to see him like that.

It took us about 3 hours to complete everything and by that time I was gasping for a drink! Was pretty tired too so we headed off to get Nandos. There was a huge queue at Nandos so we went to Blockbusters first and Alex brought step brothers as he said I was find it funny and I'd never seen it. Then we went back to get food and then we went home. The rest of the evening was spent watching Step Brothers, eating and drinking Alex's own hot chocolate (no, that's not a euphemism). I wish I could have stayed over but I'd already told my parents I would be back this evening so I had to go home. Alex drove me home at about 12:30 meaning we got to Portsmouth at about 1:30. I was shattered. Almost fell asleep in the car and was very worried about Alex doing the same on the way back. I really didn't want him to drive home alone but he had to so I gave him his biscuits and bid him goodbye. I would have stayed up all night worrying about him but luckily I was so tired I fell straight asleep. I woke up to a text that he'd got home safe, breathed a sigh of relief then went back to sleep.

I am totally exhausted today, as is Alex and I got more sleep than him! (He's at work now). It was completly worth it though. Best day in a long time :) I'm not looking forward to tomorrow though - packing to go back to uni. I really hate packing it's so stressful. Hopefully my parents will help me with most of it, all I need to sort out is clothes and personal stuff I want to take really. Can't wait to move in though. Will be good to be back.

Changes

It has come to my attention recently that I have upset someone through what I have written on here. I never, ever want to hurt anyone so I have decided to make a vow here today, on this blog. I will never complain about anyone on here ever again. I know my blog is a place to vent but it's really no excuse to publish nasty things about people on the internet. I don't want anyone to get hurt from what I write so if I can't say anything nice...it shall not be mentioned. because let's be honest, if it was something serious I would say it to the persons face and not behind their back, so it can't have been that serious! Anyway, I will speak of this no more but expect my blogs to be more people friendly from now on.

Laura xxx

:)

It's strange that coming back from Bath seems to have been a bit of a downer on me! I'm not sure why but I am fighting it with all my might as I truly do hate being miserable. The fight is working too which is good. Last night I was on the phone to Alex until 3am! Woops! The time went by too quick as usual. We had a good chat though, even a political debate at one point which was random. Also found that Moo has said some nice things about me to Alex which has made me happy! Always nice to be liked eh!

Today I went shopping for a little bit. I decided to buy a coat I'd had my eye on for a while. It's a red mac style raincoat I love it! Though everything in my life is getting more red! Argh! Over-load! Not sure why I like red so much but hey ho. My sister got a very cute beanie baby mouse to be a best friend for Cheezer who she takes everywhere with her. So everyone is happy!

Tomorrow I have the house to myself as my mum and dad are going away for one day for my dad's work. So I'm going to cook for my sister and then my friends are coming round for a bit before we all head our separate ways again! Though I haven't heard from Marnie at all for a long, long time. I wonder if I've upset her? Ahh well I guess I'm not missing out on much. I've posted on her Facebook wall to ask her why she isn't getting back to me so we shall see I guess. I know I moan about her but I do hope I haven't upset her, I never want to upset anyone no matter how much they annoy me! But anyway, it will be fun to have a good old chat with Bex and Alice about things! We had fun last time at least.

I'm also getting my hair cut tomorrow for the first time in a year. Again. I'm really bad at looking after my hair aren't I? I don't like getting my hair cut though and I especially don't like paying for it but it's getting done tomorrow and my mum is giving me some money for it which is nice! Win :)

OPM work experience

I've just come back from the most amazing week. Obviously I can't put too much detail up here as out of respect, I am keeping most things quiet but I can tell you all a little bit about it.

One my first day I was so nervous. My parents dropped me off and I went into the building. I'd been in here before so I walked up to the desk and explained myself. The lady was nice, got me to fill out a slip and called someone from OPM down. She also gave me a card which turned out to be a lovely good luck card from Martyn and family - so sweet! I sat and waited with another girl who was also doing work experience, not sure where though. Then Leon appeared. I saw his eyes flicker from the other girl to me until he either recognised me or realised the other girl looked far too feminine! I waved to him and then shook his hand. He asked me a few questions as we made our way upstairs and he quickly showed me around the office. He was really the only one in but the others soon started to emerge as the time passed. The IT people set up my own username and password so I could access any computer I wanted but before I logged on Ben invited me to come along to the podcast recording.

It sounds silly but I didn't realise the podcast was recorded in a different building. It was only round the corner and as we walked there I had a bit of a chat with Ben about the minions which was nice. He certainly is very chatty and he makes you feel involved in things, which is lovely. When we got there they all sat round the table and I sat with James Jarvis who was recording and sound checking everything. Everything is recorded on one long take and any mistakes, swearing etc are edited out afterwards so it meant I got to listen to the uncut version, hurrah! It was an interesting experience and meant I now don't have to listen to the next one.

The rest of my first day consisted of collecting screenshots and artwork for the top 50 playstation games of all time as that will be one of the main features for the next mag. As sad as it sounds it's strangely satisfying to see the art guy using the pictures I'd picked out in the feature. It was also very funny hearing Ben commentate on people's votes as he was the one collating them.

Tuesday lunchtime I met Martyn for lunch and he took me to a nice cafe and we had a chat about things. Was nice just to spend time with him - unfortunately I made him a little bit late back for work which I felt bad about. The rest of my days spent at the OPM office was a lot of doing little jobs. But you know what? Even doing the little things wasn't boring! Which made me think if I did end up doing a job like this, it really would be my dream job. I got to write the round up news section which was fun and I'm going to get 2 small reviews published - yay! I can't wait to see my name under something in next weeks mag. That will make me so happy. I think my dad is so proud he's thinking of framing everything I've ever put in the magazine! Such as all the off the wall stuff and the letter of mine that got published.

Wednesday evening I met up with Lee Groom and Martyn, we had dinner somewhere and then pudding somewhere else. Lee was a nice bloke, very friendly and jolly so all in all it was a great evening. But the best day of all was my last day of work. Near the end of the day I'd finished all the work Joel had given me, he felt a bit mean giving me any more work to do so he let me choose a game of my choice to play. I think the choice was dead rising 2, enslaved or vanquish. I really wouldn't have minded any of those 3 as they all appealed to me but I ended up choosing Dead Rising 2 as I love a bit of zombie bashing. So I played that whilst texting Martyn to arrange going to the pub with the minions. Tim and Rachel came to sit next to me to watch and Tim took over at one point to have a play. It really did make me laugh the way he was shouting "HAVE SOME CHAIR ZOMBIE!" Though he ended up killing me and I hadn't saved...woops back to the start then!

As thanks team OPM gave me a copy of Kane and Lynch 2 but they felt a bit mean about that so later on in the pub Rachel came over and gave me some signed Final Fantasy artwork and a God of War 3 box with the game in and loads of other little extras. I was genuinely surprised! I really am a very lucky girl! Plus Ben brought me a drink! Spoilt! OPM couldn't spend too long in the pub as it was someones leaving do. Though she had very kindly invited me and my friends along to it so we said we'd come along later as Ben was very insistent we come. We were hungry so we went to pizza hut first - which was good times. Then we ended up braving the rain to go to this other pub we were invited to. The lady whose leaving do it was, was surprised there was so many of us and Joel said they'd been waiting for us. It was a really good night, felt really happy, surrounded by people having conversations (and sometimes arguments!) about games and, of course, surrounded by my best friends. I was annoyed I had to leave early but it wouldn't have been fair to keep my parents up really late so I had to head back.

All in all I had a great week. Couldn't have asked for a better one :)

Broken

I haven't blogged for a while. This is due to two reasons. The first one being, I have been too busy. The day after Alex arrived back in England he came down to see me and we had a day in sunny Pompey. It was the best day I've had in a long time but I wore my legs out again from so much walking! Keeps me fit at least I guess. The second reason for not blogging is that my laptop has broken. I don't why it broke but one day the hard drive decided to pack up, meaning I couldn't even wipe the system. It's annoying I will lose all my photos, music, etc but that can all be replaced as my music is on my MP4 and my photos are on facebook. My uni work is on a memory stick (not that it matters, first year is gone and counts for nothing). It is however, a huge inconvenience to me but at least it has happened before my guarantee has run out. Someone out there does like me after all.

Anyway, the said laptop was whisked away by someone very early this morning so hopefully it will be fixed and back in my hot little hands by the time Bath is over. Speaking of which I am both nervous and excited about. More excited now as it draws nearer I just hope I can be useful, not get in their way, etc. Argh! It will be okay! Plus I am to invite Martyn round for a cup of tea one evening apparently to meet my parents and crazy dog. Should be nice. Plus I'm seeing ALL the minions at the end of that weeks! *Squee* Going to be good :)

Bipolar

This week has been very up and down for me. It started off good but today it made me feel like my whole week had been rubbish, which is a lie really. But have you ever felt so rubbish it's like it's ruined your whole week? I felt like that today. I guess it's because I woke up ill and I've been stressing about a close friend recently and it's caused me to just be in a bad mood.

Today we went shopping in Chichester. I was not very pleased about this as I'd been twice recently and there's not very much there. Plus without a job I am starting to feel guilty about spending money even though I kind of know I don't have to worry. I am just like that when it comes to money. I worry far too much. Though I guess it's better than being the complete opposite. Anyway, while we looked round the shops it decided to stop being nice and sunny, yep it pissed it down and we got kinda damp. Luckily it was only a shower and we managed to hide in some shops until it stopped. Unluckily, on the way back to the car we got very wet. Swings and roundabouts.

The day got better after I'd gotten home and I am looking forward to Alex coming home this weekend as I have missed not being able to talk to him this week. Just one more week to get through...

Mew

Last night I caught up with two of my best mates, Alice and Bex. I went round to Bex's house in the evening. We had a chat about uni and journalism. Had a nice chat with her mum too who offered me dinner but I declined. Bex made me a hot chocolate and we went to go and sit int he front room together. I'd been there for an hour when Alice turned up who didn't realise she was late! Oops! She forgot the time but ran round as soon as she realised. We spent the time not only talking about current things but also reminised at the past. We all had a funny saying that we'd said at school. Apparently mine was the best: "Don't pick holes in the sponge of friendship!" I still, to this day, have no idea why that came into my head. I don't think I've ever said anything as witty as that ever. Though it probably doesn't sound witty at all to any of my readers...never mind.

Recently I brought the two Sony cats off ebay. Well, I brought one and my dad brought the other for my good uni results. And I love them to pieces. At my age, I really should grow up a bit and stop buying toys but hell, where's the fun in that eh? But in all seriousness: I must stop buying cute Japanese things! At least until I get a job.

Speaking of which my work experience is creeping closer and closer. Eek!

Oops

I know recently I've been abandoning this blog but I doubt anyone missed it to be honest! This week Alex has gone to see ze Germans in Berlin. I know it's only been day one but I am doing well I think! I'm missing him of course but we didn't really text each other much in the last couple of day before he went anyway! So I guess I am not missing much.

When I went to see him the other evening I brought back Lego Harry Potter with me for myself and my sister to play together. It's fantastic! I've always been a fan of the lego games, they take your favourite parts of the film and make them so funny. I don't get people who don't like the Lego games. Are they doing any harm to you? No? Okay shut up then and let us play with our kids, siblings or just be children again!

Also, it looks like instead of going to Thorpe Park, Alex and I will be going to Go Ape some time in September which I am excited about! I've always wanted to do something similar but I've never had the opportunity. Sounds like a fun but exhausting day out! Can't wait.

I feel rather proud that last week I drove a boat! How cool is that? I mean all I had to do was steer it down the river, avoiding other boats and keeping to the right side of the river but still, it was pretty awesome and it's one more thing I can say I've done.

I'm not waiting for my Sony Kuro cat to arrive in the post! It was dispatched today and I am EXCITED. Though I really need to stop spending money on cute Japanese things...

Currently listening to: maroon 5-Infactuation
"Infactuation, I've seen the rest of you, it's getting the best of me. Such a shame that you shot me down, would have been nice to have been around. I'm touching your skin, if it's only a fantasy then why is it killing me?"

Beach party

Well it's been far too long since I went to a party but my God this made up for it. I got to Poole via train around 3:15pm. I saw Jen and others through the railings straight away and when I actually got off the train JB was somehow right in front of me! Wow we were really all here already? Unfortunately I forgot to scream at JB but since we were just opposite each other it would have been a little over the top...

We crossed the bridge to meet up with just about everyone except Iain and Coops who were running late. So we decided to get into town to be ready to start buying stuff for tonight and to meet them in town. So off started the two hours or more of rushing around town buying, well, absolutely everything! It was a bit tiring and crazy and some of us were craving a drink but eventually we were done. New to the scene was Jen's friend Josh who was very lovely and funny. Michelle, Martyn's wife came for a while with mini minion Wren who didn't not cry once! She was such a cutie, even offered me a grape! So, so cute. Also Moo's wife-to-be Kelly came along for the ride. She was also lovely if I little quiet but I suppose it's hard when there are so many people around that you don't know! And everyone was failing on the introduction front. Crazy times.

After the shopping we sorted out who was going and who was staying and who stuff was going in what car, etc. Michelle was taking Wren and going home so we said our goodbyes to them and set off for the ferry. There was a bit of a queue for the ferry but the journey across it was extremely quick. Then came the task of hauling all our bag across the sand to a spot where we could sit for the night. We made our way over to Jen's friends who were over by a camping stove area, handy! We all swiftly got our first drinks down us, some of us made an effort to introduce ourselves. Shamefully me and JB were too lazy but we had a fun time talking utter crap. I don't think either of us remember what was said that was so funny but we laughed at a lot of stuff. Was good times! I especially remember JB suggesting we buried the chicken eggs (meant for breakfast) and then pretended we'd found turtle eggs and then we'd see if they'd hatch. Yeah. A big old what the fuck indeed but my God did I laugh.

Later on after we'd nommed some WTFBBQED food we distracted the boss using Holly and Martyn and prepared Bossman's birthday cake. JB and I were the "little and large" cake hiding wall. Though Jb uttered to me "I came all the way to London for fucking cake!", we both burst into laughter, he was joking of course but it was so funny. Lighting the candles (especially the ones that spelt out: 300), was a bit of a fail on a slightly windy beach but Bossman pretended to blow them out so it was all good! It was a pretty pink Disney princess cake which Bossman loved, though we all agreed it had the wrong princess on it-where was Ariel and Belle?(Respect was given to Belle for shagging a beast).

Wez, Jen's boyfriend, came along and buried me in sand at one point to turn me into a mermaid! I think everyone found it funny how I just sat there and accepted it. Well why not eh!

I spent most of the evening with Jb and chatting to Martyn to be honest! It made a nice to change to be hanging out with Jb, was good fun and he was making me laugh with his theories that the island across the water (which we assumed to be the Isle Of Wight) was actually Jurassic Park. Though he said "He was too drunk to be dealing with dinosaurs". Also the moon, which looked very odd, was apparently the Death Star and we were now all doomed. Luckily I don't remember the planet being blown up so I think we got away with it...

Very late at night, I'm not sure what the time was, Holly really wanted to go for a swim. I was totally up for it as I was drunk but I also was wearing my bikini underneath my clothes. Holly went to change and I stripped off and we ran off into the sea. There was much a squeal over the temperature of the water but it wasn't actually that bad. When we got out Holly had her Lara Croft towel prepared and we huddled together, Holly, Laura and Lara, win! When we got back to camp minion I rushed over to my bag to get my own towel and just sat there wrapped up in it. All I remember then was Martyn, who'd just drunk a load of fermented Archers (it tasted like maple syrup), looked up at me and said "Alex is mental" before proclaiming my lap was comfy and resting his head on it. He actually fell asleep on there at some point! Bossman also got out his Ipod and some speakers and played some old school, tunes. When "Gangsta's Paradise" came on, me and Bossman sung weird Al's "Amish paradise" lyrics along to it which was very funny!

Eventually we all decided (I think it was around 3am) that we should get some sleep. I gently lifted up Martyn off my leg and left him on the sand. He was pretty heavily asleep by now. Holly helped me undo my bikini top which was in a stupidly tight knot and Bossman kindly held up a towel for me as I put on my bra! I wanted to be in dry clothes before I went to sleep you see. So I got dressed and Bossman laid out his huge tarpaulin and we got our sleeping bags on it, turned off the music and went straight to sleep.

I woke up around 6am. The sun had risen over the water, looked very pretty actually. I also felt surprisingly good considering how much I drank and how early it was. I text Alex that I was awake and all was well and he rung me and we had a little chat. He was very confused because he woke up to a text from each of us calling him a "Goldfish-faced fuck". Which, for some reason, was Bossman's idea. After that phone call I had a bacon roll which was nommy. I then made the mistake of going back to sleep as everyone else had and there wasn't anything else to do. Plus I was tired of course. When I got up later I was sick. Couldn't even keep umm the "Um bongo" Iain had given me! That's something that really doesn't need to be tasted twice...So yeah I couldn't keep down anything which was annoyed me because I was so thirsty for obvious reasons. It wasn't that bad though and after sort of throwing up on the ferry my stomach settled down after then. I still didn't eat anything though because I didn't want to be ill on the trains home. We got back to Jen's house at just past midday. Holly and Iain were dying for a cup of tea so some people had tea. I really wanted one too but was worried about my stomach so I stuck to water. Which I did manage to keep down. Good sign.

Eventually people thought it was time to leave so me, Jb and Josh (Jen's mate) squeezed in the back of Bossman's car and got a lift to the train station. Me and Jb then waited for a train to London. We had a few good little chats on the way back before I had to get off at Southampton. I got stuck with getting a fairly long train back to Portsmouth but it wasn't as bad as I originally thought. The whole train journey I was starving and dying of thirst. Now this is ME I'm talking about, the girl that eats shit loads. I was surprised I hadn't fainted but then, I was also wondering why I had no headache! The fuck? I was glad I was well though! When I got back to Portsmouth my dad gave me a lift back in the Mazda and I nommed Nachos for dinner and drank loads of water. All was well again. And today I woke up just before eleven, had a shower and now feel SO much better. My shoulders still kill but other than that I feel good! Best nights sleep ever.

Currently listening to: Elvis Presley-Suspicious minds
"Here we go again, asking where I've been. You can't see the tears, I feel like crying."

Marwell Zoo

I had a really fun day today at the zoo with my family. It wasn't too busy and it wasn't too hot and it didn't rain! Win. Saw loads of animals, some of them I'd never seen before! I especially loved seeing the snow leopards, tigers and lemurs.

The funniest part of the day was all the attention my backpack got! I wore my ring-tailed lemur backpack that my dad got for me ages ago. There's not many times I can wear it but I thought today would be perfect. I got a lot of remarks off people both child and adult saying things like "I thought that was real then!" and "Look that girl has a lemur on her back!". It was most amusing. Then there was one kid, he was so sweet. He stood behind me, stroking the long tail, he looked up at me with a grin and said "You have a tail!". He was so sweet! Made my day.

My sister is putting photos on facebook as I type though we've already looked at hers and my dad's on the PS3. He got some really good ones!

I can't actually be bothered to blog that much now but I did have a good chat with Jen yesterday who phoned me on her way home from work. She cheered me up about things slightly and now I am super excited about Saturday! I actually can't wait. I'm also determined to get very drunk. Good times ahead.

Happy birthday Bossman

Not really much to write about today. I spoke to Lewis on msn for the first time in ages last night and it was nice. Makes me realise how much I miss my uni mates! I think I will have to go back to uni earlier than I planned to. I'm still not sure when though. Sometime in September...we'll see.

I wish I could get things off my mind. I really do.

I am mostly looking forward to Saturday though so all is good. Hopefully the weather will be dry enough!

Also, if it's nice tomorrow we're going to Marwell zoo! Which should be fun. Looking forward to that! I was speaking to Alice earlier, she said we need to do something before she dies of boredom, I totally agree. So I've said next week we need to do something to celebrate us both passing. She doesn't mind what we do so maybe we could go to the beach in the afternoon and go to a pub in the evening? Just a thought! Will see how that goes. I'll have to plan it after this weekend.

It's also edging closer to my OPM work experience and damn I am nervous! Eek!

Currently listening to: Lady Gaga-Bad romance (vidzone): "I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything as long as it's free, I want your love. Love, love, love, I want your love."

Worthing

I've had a pretty good day. We all went to Worthing for the day because my dad was working there and it was something to do. We helped my dad unload everything before we went off shopping. I have kind of felt ill all day, I'm not sure why. Maybe the weather is affecting me in an odd way. It's been miserable today, I thought it might pour down at one point but it managed to stay dry thankfully. While walking around I felt very hot and a little bit sicky but I was fine. For lunch we had an ice-cream sundae which was so good but gone so quick! Eating something made me feel a little better so maybe it was just hunger...I don't know.

I didn't buy anything, there are too many things I currently want when I have no money. Well, I do have money but I am so paranoid on spending it as I am worrying about paying bills, etc in a few months time when I'm back at uni. I'm sure I will be fine but I do worry unnecessarily.

It's weird because I've had an okay day but I feel a bit down. I don't know why, or what about. I just do. Stupid emotions. I wish I didn't have any at all sometimes.